An Indigo Growing Up

by Jorge Oliveira
(Lisboa, Portugal)

I was born to a lovely couple, with whom I still partake of my daily life. At the age of six, entering primary school, I used to wake up before 6.00 a.m. in order to make breakfast for my parents, as I was in a hurry to learn all and everything. My curiosity was never satisfied, I just wanted to get to school! My parents always made me feel it was important to get a degree of some sort; I was a rather successful student from an early age but always felt something huge lacking. Could never quite get what it was until I got to my teens.

All the adults in my vicinity were amazed by the way I used to get myself involved in studies/work, I used to care about every minor detail in everything I did and I used to have worries atypical to the common child my age. The first time I lost my sleep due to the realization of my own mortality was around 10 years old. I felt it more then anything else. I also fell in love for the first time age 4, I can still remember it fairly well. I remembered dreams everyday, sometimes 2 and 3 dreams a night. I had prophetic/lucid/déja vu dreams all the time.

Teens were the most difficult time. All people and surroundings felt alien. I procured ease of feelings in drugs and alcohol. By the time I was 18 and after my first big love crush/failure I started to give up on the commonly accepted way of acting socially, it never made any sense really, it was just the final straw, that special year - the last thing on my mind was entering college, but due to a big pressure on the part of my parents I finally enrolled.

I find that my greatest inner strength is inspiring people to become what they aspire to, something more, to grow actually, and so my greatest achievement has become the mastering of languages, of any sort - and I've been connecting with many friends all over the world, from all sorts of backgrounds, ever since. But it is hard, and mostly it becomes boring when one feels there's a whole network of habits and outdated means against you. I grow impatient. I try to find my inner peace nowadays, and music has become my favorite means for pouring out that which cannot be told otherwise. My feelings, my emotions, that which I cherish the most.

Empathy...I'll tell you of empathy...it's been my curse rather them my special gift all these years. I can't help but to instantly feel the mood of everyone around me, and because of that it's unbearable, more and more, to go out, to concert halls, to parties, wherever, unless I have this drug induced shield of some sort. Then I can act normal, and then I can act like one of the bunch. But it makes me weak. I wonder if I will ever find balance. You might think this could be a liability socially-wise. It’s not. I feel that, in order to be integrated, I must downgrade myself somehow (always felt that - mostly because of my impatience), although I have felt differently in some other countries/areas like Holland. It turns out it is a Indigo country lol.

I always felt better working by myself or in a leadership position, no doubt, and in creativity endeavors mostly. I am an architect, a musician, and am trying to get into my life's strongest calling, comics.

Extra sensibility to odors, sounds, activity is unbearable sometimes. I need my own corner.

Anyway I just wanted to share. I hope it may, somehow, turn out as a sort of relief or aid for someone, trying to figure his/herself out. I know I always felt out of place, and nowadays it is bliss to be able to connect to peers, and this is a great way to do it.

Thank you

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Nov 22, 2008
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Exactly
by: Briana

I hate lowering myself with other people, but what else am I going to do. People don't come up and talk me, maybe the weird ones. lol (Have no idea what that's about?))

I'm fed up with society it's self. I'm only 15, I know that sounds young for someone to relate to you, but I can. I'm a very successful student, and I hate it!

I wanna just not care, to just screw school, and everything about it, it's useless. School teaches you facts, but it doesn't teach you not much of anything else. It's a babysitting service for parents. But I won't get into that rant.

How did you first connect with people? I mean, how did you break that barrier that these people might possibly be able to understand?

Mar 12, 2008
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Hi
by: christa

Wow everything you just described,,,is me,,,ever since I was a child,,,and now at 39,,,I can't be around crowds,,,I get drained easily,,,and love working alone,,,

Feb 17, 2008
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Life is even better when you filter
by: Anonymous

Hello from your fellow phoenix indigo. I had the exact same thing happening to me when I was 19. It overwhelmed me and I had a very hard time being around other people because it just seemed I was picking up everything off of them.

I met my husband and he showed me how to visualize then create a shield. Then I set up a filter on the outer layer and I just told it exactly what I needed to keep out coming off of other people.

It took awhile to focus on keeping it up everyday. At first it will be very hard to keep it up but you gotta get past that. Like training for a marathon; you have to fight off the impatience to grow. It gets easier the longer and more diligent you are at it. Hard work will get you more pleasant results. Please try this if you haven't already. It will help you so much! Good luck

Feb 17, 2008
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I hope you link with folks in your area that can help
by: Anonymous

Hello
Although my experiences have not be as overwhelming to me as yours, I appreciate what you have written.

Have you ever made contact with others who are also psychic? There must be some groups in your area that you could link up with.

Prayer is powerful as a protective force. Also there are stones, oils etc that will protect you from negative energies.

The two best authors that you might read are Echo Bodine and Doreen Virtue. They have written a number of books and some are on tape.

It is very important that you find some peace in these experiences.

I wish you blessings, and peace.
Elaine S.

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