Before and After Death
(Pennsylvania, United States)
I had a dream back in December that my best friend (who I am now dating) and I were climbing up a wooden ladder, like the ones on bunk beds. We were climbing to heaven. (I don't know if that was the goal or if we just ended up there). When we got there, another friend (who I believe I was casually dating at the time) was already there. Basically, I dreamed that he was in heaven before we were. He's a Christian, I am not, but we all went to church together.
This is where it gets odd. In august, he committed suicide. After I dreamed that he would die before us. I was looking through my journals and found the dream I'd written down and wondered if anyone had a similar experience or any insight that might help me. I've had other prophetic dreams before, but none this big, mostly just dreaming that someone would wear a certain color or outfit, or that we'd go a certain place, things that could easily be called coincidences and brushed off.
This is getting long, so I'll try to be brief, but I had a total of three dreams about him after he died.
In the first, we were at some kind of function with our youth group, and toward the end of my dream, I realized that he was dead and I'd have to wake up. The thing I remember most vividly is grabbing the hem of his shirt and holding on for dear life. The last thing I remember before I woke up was holding on to him as tightly as I could.
I know there was another dream, but I didn't write it down and I'm afraid I can't remember anything about it now. All I can recall is it ended in him having to leave?
Because the next dream (these happened with no more than one dreamless night between them) seemed like a continuation.
In the third dream, I remember I was looking for him, and I ran up some stairs and there he was, sitting in a room with a group of people at what seemed like a birthday party? And I ran up behind him and put my arms around him and held on, and he turned around and looked at me, and he didn't say anything, but he seemed surprised that I had cared enough to find him, or that I'd been able to, and he was telling me it was ok. He doesn't blame me.
I haven't dreamed about him since, but I still largely blame myself for his death. I do have the distinct feeling that he was communicating with me, through.
To give a bit more context, I was raised in a Christian home and consider myself a spiritual person, but I don't follow or believe in organized religion.
Sorry this is so long and thank you so much for reading/helping me understand!
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