Confused Indigo

by Léanne
(Holland)

Hi, I'm a young woman, 19 years old, living in Holland and was hoping to get in contact with other Indigo's all over the world. I've been reading about Indigo's for the past few months on and off and all I felt was recognition and all I could do was cry. Life so far has not been easy. Despite this I have always been an optimist and hopeful, with the exception of some heavy depressions.

What's been bothering me the most is that I've always felt different, an outcast. I thought I was crazy. From an early age on I've been doing my own thing, I could never be swayed to be one of the mass. I questioned everything, from school systems to religion and I still do. I came to this site by accident and read one of the stories and its comments and felt like coming home.

I feel like I'm standing in front of a glass wall watching the world live their lives and I can't reach the people in it. I don't understand how I'm supposed to live in a society that I don't want to be a part of. They seem to be doing it all wrong. I don't know how else to say it. I don't want to spend my days on a 9 to 5 job with people that don't understand me at all being completely unhappy. The creativity is mentioned a lot with indigo's, definitely another thing that I recognize. I've though myself many creative skills on computer and when it comes to traditional art, but I don't feel strong enough to step in to the world and actually try and make a living of it.

I guess that's my problem; I don't feel strong enough. The last couple of years have felt like a spiritual journey, to finally become my true self: I'm learning to shut out other people's business and emotions and to stop picking up on everything, and I've overcome so many setbacks already. Only now it feels like I'm nearing the end, but like I said, I'm standing against a glass wall and it's like there are two strings in my brain that should be linked but aren't. I truly don't understand what it'll take to feel strong enough to enter society without being swallowed by it.

This message may be a bit chaotic, but it already helps to share this with other people. I would love to get in touch with other people like me, so please, feel free to comment. I am grateful that this website exists.

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Feb 27, 2012
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I want to be apart of it..
by: angelica-J

hey I'm Angelica 21 from Australia I want to connect with young indigos as well as great reminder that I'm apart of something :)
if you ever want to talk to someone on the other side of the world who kind of understands and has some of the same questions.. my email is m_willen@hotmail.com

Jun 19, 2010
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Confused Indigo here
by: Author

Hi everyone,

thanks so much for all your comments. I've found out by now why it's so hard for most of us. So much unfulfilled potential that is waiting to burst out in all of us. I think it's about ridding ourselves of our fears. Past trauma's we hold on to, feelings of not being good enough, not believing in ourselves. I am convinced that the moment we set ourselves free and are able to feel our own strength, we will actually be able to go out in to the world without getting hurt by other people and just live. I am living proof that this is just a fase. Only most of us seem to get stuck there. I am currently dealing with the last straws of childhood abuse and untill I can believe that I am worthy and believe in myself, I will never be able to let go of my abuser completely and will never be able to move on. So.., it really comes down to; you can't help others if you don't help yourself first.

Jun 08, 2010
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<3
by: Lauren

Don't be afraid, I'm 14 and have been labeled indigo. Remember being "indigo" is an advantage and is one reason we are different from others. We are all here for a certain pupose and us few have been chosen. Rejoice and make the most of the special gift we have been given.

Oct 30, 2009
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The stupidity
by: Anonymous

What you had experienced it completely the same with me. I thought that was only me in this world, but now I know have a lot friends, hahaha. Really I feel frustrated with this world. Why they appear in such a strange form? I don't understand why people always move in linear perspective! They seems blind!

I'm 19 years old too. As a child they called me a rebel. Now I'm sick of this world society system, so I retire and limited myself from being a part of all this stupidity.

This is my email: kurobalap_2000 @ yahoo .co.id

hope we could help each other :)

Aug 15, 2009
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Society
by: Anonymous

Hey there, I'm an Indigo from Ireland (20yrs old) and I could identify with so much of what you said. In particular about not wanting a 9-5 job. I think I am very extreme here. To work for in a 'job' situation just kills me. I am biding my time at University until I can figure out what to do. I also understand what you are saying about not feeling strong enough. same here. Glass wall, I too feel like an outcast. I am upskilling with my computer too. I have several pen pals across the globe but I know no Indigos. We need an actual indigo penpal website. Maybe I'll create one some day, but as yet I don't know how. In the mean time I am writing comments here, hoping to make a few indigo penpals. So if you want to chat to me, please write. Just to talk about stuff.
vmatthewg [at] g ma il .c om (remove spaces and replace [at])

I hope you are well. And by the way, what you have may not be depression. You could be just absorbing the emotions of others. I am sensitive like that, such a relief to find I am not actually depressed. good luck!!
Matthew

Aug 13, 2009
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Comment on Confused Indigo Girl
by: Irina

Hello,

I would like to comment on the confused indigo.
My name is Irina I am 24 years old and live in the Netherlands as well. All the things you are mentioning are very recognizable.

From an early age I felt a big distance between my way of thinking and other peoples thoughts. I can be very social, but I don't really understand how people can walk so blindly in the same direction. After allot of emotional stress and depressions I landed on a shrink's chair. Now I'm taking medication to suppress all the negativity that I have been experiencing.

I don't agree anymore with the path I have chosen, and am looking for other ways to become a more healthy and happier person. I did make the choice to express my creativity for a living. I work as a painter and illustrator. Perhaps we can exchange thoughts confused indigo. I'm always interested in other people who go against the stream.





Aug 03, 2009
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Hi
by: Anonymous

Don't be scared its ok. Grab it and hold on to it.

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