In So Deep

by Christina
(Los Angeles)

I'm A Pisces slash addict. I tend to get addicted to people, places, and things. I am often very entertaining to people sometimes to be insatiable and inaccurate to the point i have overwhelmed myself into a overloaded hard drive ready to burn out at any minute.

I'm obsessive, compulsive,and disorderly willful to the dying they consider it needy to a fix of some kind of people pleasing euphoria that is just not for me.you get it I'm a fish serpentine to a rock in a cold world.

I've had a 9 year life sentence full of active decision making that is unhealthy to the flesh. I see visions when I shut my eyes that are mostly of swords,lions,blood,fish,made up animated characters sort of like street fighter or mortal combat, I also see hearts.

Is there any one else out there like me i can three d animate in my head and still haven't figured out if people can see or hear my thoughts its really a question that has not been answered.

So I see a shrink and tell her my pressures how I feel how I'm doing about my love life and so forth.

I also have a strong tendency to think my life will be cut short of heart disease its not a fact but i feel halfway there and halfway gone.

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Hope I can help
by: Ms. Starr

I have read what you wrote and see you are an over achiever. Much like many others who are lacking in love from our base family. When you are young we are eager to please our parents. It is a positive negative approval system. As we get older our relationship with our parents change. We try to find our way but it feels like we fail. Once we leave home we still strive to the same positive negative system. We attach ourselves to people who fit the need and go back to the same fall. Make them happy then you are happy. But the truth is you have to make you happy. Understand that no matter what you do you cant fulfill all the needs and wants of others nor should you have to. Let go and you will find the happiness you seek. As for the visions you see it is based in fear of the unknown. When your eyes are closed you see what you think could be there to hurt you. Let it all go and know that each of us have an angle with you always and they are there to protect you as well as guide you. Now as for me, if you need an ear I am here.

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