Cry for Indigo Help

by SkywalkerD
(NJ)

I'm 33 year old woman and I never heard about Indigo people until recently. Everything make sense now but I'm wondering if anybody knows what we should do with our "gifts" and how to make them work for us and not against us.

I feel uncomfortable with labeling anything, but just the emotional resonance of the word Indigo makes sense for me.

My room as a child and teenager was all - indigo. Not girly lilac but pure indigo which would shock anybody who would enter it. My favorite activity when I was 10 was going into the wood, sitting there for hours and doing bio-energetic exercises (which I found years later what it was - for me that seamed like the most natural thing to do). I would imagine and feel a fire ball between my hands that expands and shrinks. Then I would collect plants (and I knew every single one, little bit latter I won a city competition in botanics by just reading whole book once, I just know plants, that's it), dry them and learn how to heal with them. When I was 11 or 12, I stumble upon book on folk magic, planets and astrology, and started practicing simple rituals, mostly about healing people. I was raised in a big city, this was not a normal behavior but I was lucky to live next to the wooden area. Where I've got those ideas, that was a mystery.

About the same time I started having visionary dreams, and stuff that I was dreaming would just happen next day. At age 13 I started having deep and intense feelings of not belonging here and decided the best thing to to is to commit suicide. That was a clear decision, not a cry for attention. I realized the whole planet is going in one direction and me, in totally different. I didn't know how to do it, and the attempt failed. The hardest thing for me at that time was a realization that there are so many lies, people don't care for each other, everything seamed so harsh, loud and stupid. I was very lonely and I just wanted to hang out around plants and animals. Or draw and make things alone.

School was a bit of a hell for me - competition, harsh sports, popular stuff that everybody has to have or do. I was never diagnosed as dyslexic but I would constantly permeate numbers and having bad grades in math and physics. I could make sense of a complicated problem but on the end 24 is 42 and < is >.My IQ is above 150, enough to piss off every teacher - I just didn't care for any authority figure and rules for the sake of rules.

I went to music school, I never practiced but I keep on skipping grades and getting into best schools (free). I have two masters in music, but even on a high level of education, I would still question institution and feel like an alien there. I went for masters in music thinking that is a planet where creative people live, and I was wrong. I had a few great teachers who would get me and I would learn from them a lot, others (majority) would constantly try to put me in a box, make me be somebody else, or just be very offended by my questions.

I felt I'm on some mission and I have to accomplish it. Something that has to contribute to everybody, whole profession, which was the main difference between me and everybody else. I didn't understand small and selfish goals (just play a nice concert in a nice dress and make parents proud....promote yourself....make it easy by copying another artist...repeat stuff in the same way and call it art...). I felt stuff has to be changed, replaced with new and original, old stuff has to die because it is already rotten, and we are here to make it happen. I felt we all have to work toward a goal of making the Earth more creative, more free, happier place.

I am experiencing the same on my job (music teacher). I just quit working for two music schools - because I cannot kill the urge to organize better, to provide new ideas, to point on things that doesn't work anymore. I can't deal with cold business attitude, without being personal, empathetic, understanding student's needs, and being in a touch with what is going on TODAY, not yesterday or a 100 years ago. I proved that what I do makes sense and brings money, but my bosses don;t even get what I am doing. Often they will take credit for it, not give me raise ever, not even a "good job". I was done when my boss took my best student (that I put a lot of work in), started teaching him and claimed that is his work after one lesson.

But this is a theme of my life. I feel squeezed and used, I feel how people truly not getting me but recognizing how much they can take from me. And I am giving it to them because I can't create boundaries. When I am fed up with everything, the first thing to think about is suicide. That feels like relief, like I can stop all of this when is just too hard.

What is hard - I don;t really know. It's like everybody has a tunnel vision and I have an access to some invisible knowledge that makes perfect sense to me. I can sense people, things, future and I'm taking all around me like a sponge. I need time during the day (every day) to re-wire and cleanse myself from everything I picked up. I have terrible mood swings, I'm overwhelmed by memories of a past, visions that I recognize but not from my experience, like I'm reliving something constantly.

There are premonition dreams almost every night and dreams of global destruction. I experience a deep sorrow in my dreams, I feel how planet and a human race is about to die in a matter of minutes (and every time it is a different event - a flood, storm, comet...etc). I wake up so upset and there is nobody to tell who will understand - that we need to do something urgently. And I still believe everybody is capable to better the wold right now, with very simple things. If they wake up.

Maybe that is the best explanation - we woke up, we are fully aware and everybody around are still sleeping.

There are also so many things in my life that I have no explanation for and I don't know what to do with it. It seams it is a constant struggle, just I really don;t know with what. There is no visible reason for it (I have loving husband, there is always money with very little effort or I just don't care for it and a little is enough for me, no debt, I look 10 years younger than my age, people are drawn to me naturally, healthy family...). But there is this pulsating feeling of....everything I feel constantly, some cry for help from unknown source, need for change, terrible visions of future and a feeling there is very little time left. For what? I don't know.

Does anybody know what I am talking about? How we make the wold listen to this message? And how to be happy knowing all of this?

(and, yes, I'm experiencing all of the symptoms described....and that is where all Indigo information ends...ok, we get it...now we need to know what to do...)

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Feb 20, 2013
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YES!!!
by: Anonymous

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. It is a trip how similar our stories are. I'm so happy to read this and know I'm not alone. I have tons to say about everything you wrote but most importantly you need to know that suicide will solve nothing at all. You would just wake up on the other side with all the same horrible fears and other emotions that you already had but with the added impact of ending your life and breaking your contract you made with yourself. Then you would have to come back to earth and start all over again and have to deal with the karma of killing yourself on to of everything else and you will be so pissed that you will want to kill yourself even more. So that is not an option for you! You are going through what they call the dark night of the soul. It happens when you are on the very brink of brillance. Its a final test you have to pass in order to graduate. Your teachers would rather you just quit because they don't like you and don't want you to suceed because it would prove you are smarter than them. Don't even think about giving them the satisfaction! None of us can give up after making it this far. We have lived hundreds of incarnations and been there and done that. We got this. Whatever it is will reveal itself with perfect timing, divine grace, and syncronicity!




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Cry for help from an unknown source

by SkywalkerD
(NJ)

I'm 33 year old woman and I never heard about Indigo people until recently. Everything makes sense now but I'm wondering if anybody knows what we should do with our "gifts" and how to make them work for us and not against us.

I feel uncomfortable with labelling anything, but just the emotional resonance of the word Indigo makes sense for me.

My room as a child and teenager was all - indigo. Not girly lilac but pure indigo which would shock anybody who would enter it. My favorite activity when I was 10 was going into the wood, sitting there for hours and doing bioenergetic exercises (which I found years later what it was - for me that seamed like the most natural thing to do). I would imagine and feel a fire ball between my hands that expands and shrinks. Then I would collect plants (and I knew every single one, little bit latter I won a city competition in botanics by just reading whole book once, I just know plants, that's it), dry them and learn how to heal with them. When I was 11 or 12, I stumble upon book on folk magic, planets and astrology, and started practicing simple rituals, mostly about healing people. I was raised in a big city, this was not a normal behavior but I was lucky to live next to the wooden area. Where I've got those ideas, which was a mystery.

About the same time I started having visionary dreams, and stuff that I was dreaming would just happen next day. At age 13 I started having deep and intense feelings of not belonging here and decided the best thing to is to commit suicide. That was a clear decision, not a cry for attention. I realized the whole planet is going in one direction and me, in totally different. I didn't know how to do it, and the attempt failed. The hardest thing for me at that time was a realization that there are so many lies, people don't care for each other, everything seamed so harsh, loud and stupid. I was very lonely and I just wanted to hang out around plants and animals. Or draw and make things alone.

School was a bit of a hell for me - competition, harsh sports, popular stuff that everybody has to have or do. I was never diagnosed as dyslexic but I would constantly permutate numbers and having bad grades in math and physics. I could make sense of a complicated problem but on the end 24 is 42 and < is >.My IQ is above 150, enough to piss off every teacher - I just didn't care for any authority figure and rules for the sake of rules.

I went to music school, I never practiced but I keep on skipping grades and getting into best schools (free). I have two masters in music, but even on a high level of education, I would still question institution and feel like an alien there. I went for masters in music thinking that is a planet where creative people live, and I was wrong. I had a few great teachers who would get me and I would learn from them a lot, others (majority) would constantly try to put me in a box, make me be somebody else, or just be very offended by my questions.

I felt I'm on some mission and I have to accomplish it. Something that has to contribute to everybody, whole profession, which was the main difference between me and everybody else. I didn't understand small and selfish goals (just play a nice concert in a nice dress and make parents proud....promote yourself....make it easy by copying another artist...repeat stuff in the same way and call it art...). I felt stuff has to be changed, replaced with new and original, old stuff has to die because it is already rotten, and we are here to make it happen. I felt we all have to work toward a goal of making the Earth more creative, more free, happier place.

I am experiencing the same on my job (music teacher). I just quit working for two music schools - because I cannot kill the urge to organize better, to provide new ideas, to point on things that doesn't work anymore. I can't deal with cold business attitude, without being personal, empathetic, understanding student's needs, and being in a touch with what is going on TODAY, not yesterday or a 100 years ago. I proved that what I do makes sense and brings money, but my bosses don;t even get what I am doing. Often they will take credit for it, not give me raise ever, not even a "good job". I was done when my boss took my best student (that I put a lot of work in), started teaching him and claimed that is his work after one lesson.

But this is a theme of my life. I feel squeezed and used, I feel how people truly not getting me but recognizing how much they can take from me. And I am giving it to them because I can't create boundaries. When I am fed up with everything, the first thing to think about is suicide. That feels like relief, like I can stop all of this when is just too hard.

What is hard - I don’t really know. It's like everybody has a tunnel vision and I have an access to some invisible knowledge that makes perfect sense to me. I can sense people, things, future and I'm taking all around me like a sponge. I need time during the day (every day) to re-wire and cleanse myself from everything I picked up. I have terrible mood swings, I'm overwhelmed by memories of a past, vision that I recognize but not from my experience, like I'm reliving something constantly. There are premonition dreams almost every night and dreams of global destructions. I experience a deep sorrow in my dreams, I feel how planet and a human race is about to die in a matter of minutes (and every time it is a different event - a flood, storm, comet...etc). I wake up so upset and there is nobody to tell who will understand - that we need to do something urgently. And I still believe everybody is capable to better the world right now, with very simple things. If they wake up.

Maybe that is the best explanation - we woke up, we are fully aware and everybody around are still sleeping.

There are also so many things in my life that I have no explanation for and I don't know what to do with it. It seams it is a constant struggle, just I really don’t know with what. There is no visible reason for it (I have loving husband, there is always money with very little effort or I just don't care for it and a little is enough for me, no debt, I look 10 years younger than my age, people are drawn to me naturally, healthy family...). But there is this pulsating feeling of....everything I feel constantly, some cry for help from unknown source, need for change, terrible visions of future and a feeling there is very little time left. For what? I don't know.
Does anybody know what I am talking about? How we make the world listen to this message? And how to be happy knowing all of this?

(and, yes, I'm experiencing all of the symptoms described....and that is where all Indigo information ends...ok, we get it...now we need to know what to do...

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Feb 08, 2012
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wow
by: Erin <3

When I googled 'psychic cry for help' and read this, it was like I was reading my own story. I don't know what answer to give to your issues, as I haven't found them myself. But I do feel comforted (finally!) that I am not alone, and I hope you feel so too. I don't know whether to continue to try healing the earth in the hope the people living on it will pick it up and start giving a damn and heal themselves and each other, or whether to give up, as it is so draining. I guess if you have the strength to carry on, then so should I, and I'm here for you if you want. One thing I did want to know is have you had any experiences with 'plug ins/outs' where either someone has passed and you feel that energy leave your cord, or where someone who needs help out there somewhere has plugged in? This is what I am trying to understand at the moment.

Aug 13, 2011
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maybe help
by: john

if you feel surrounded sometimes by too much negative 'junk' in the ether around you i suggest taking time to cleanse yourself and the immediate area. it's pretty easy with little practice and immediately effective. remember, when you think, feel or speak the vibrations of the thought, feelings or words permeate you and echo into the immediate area. when people think, feel or speak negatively they foul themselves and the air around, like dumping sewage into the ocean. if you get overwhelmed by such 'trash' just close your eyes and see inside yourself or descending from heaven a fire. i see it as brilliantly silver but use whatever color feels purest to you, even regular orange-red flame works. see and feel it spread through your body and know that it is consuming everything inside that does not serve you. once you feel balanced inside, see the flames spread to the area around, even inside the people around you (i suggest getting permission). practice this alone at first, but soon you can do it in a crowded room even with your eyes open and eventually while holding a conversation or other activities. blessings and light on your mission

May 25, 2011
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Indigos Rocks
by: Anonymous

Hang in there i used to worry about all of those issues, but you are an indigo for a great and honoured reason you are a tower of strenghth and insight everyone has and is going through a clearing of all past negative experiances in this and other lifetimes heavy stuff, i was told to take a step back and not to force yourself as an indigo because iv been through it and it feels like your brain has fried, but be proud stand tall and from your heart bring forward and intergrate your knowledge gently, keep taking the knocks you can take and never give up stand in your power and dont let anyone stop you, your awake your out of the closet so to speek we are here supporting the highest realms and her to pr them so walk proud with us all, Hang tight indigo x

May 22, 2011
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Stop the planet, I wanna get off!!!
by: Anni

I can relate to your piece SO much, especially about living in such a painful, selfish world. I often feel so disappointed, hurt and ashamed of what horrors humans can inflict on one another. I have felt countless times that I dont belong here at all and there must be another planet spinning out there which is where I am SUPPOSED to be......

Jan 15, 2011
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Ive experinced this in my own way
by: Anonymous

Basicaly, I have dreams about the future too. Ive had thoughts of suicide, thinking things will be better off without me. But where would our family, friends, and the world be without our insight and light? As it was once told to me "If you fail all will perrish." As grimm as it may sound, that message filled me with hope. Because out of destruction comes unity and out of death comes rebrith.
Alot of what your saying explaines exacticaly how i feel too.:)

Oct 30, 2010
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hopefully this can help...
by: Crystal Skyes

most indigos i've met say that they feel like they have a mission, too. they need to change things, and time is running out. but i invite you to question the feelings that cause you pain and don't work for you, just like you invite ppl to question theirs.

the only way to be "running out of time" is to think time is linear and that time is real and therefore limited. is time real? is time what we think it is? linear, loopy, etc?

when someone feels there is something wrong, it's because they have another idea of how things SHOULD go and that idea is the RIGHT one. but is it? people lie, they are loud, etc, and that needs to be changed because it's wrong, but who are we to judge? is it really wrong? why can't we just accept it as being, just ppl being themselves, loving the best ways they know how? why is our idea of right, the RIGHT one? if you believe wrong and right are real, then you limit yourself to a dual worldview. and it frustrates you, and all indigos, to think like that, b/c you KNOW it's not true. it's not the only way to see the world. and so because you do what you see in others that they do and you don't like b/c you do it, too, THEN you get angry and misunderstand both your efforts to make sense of your world and theirs. and it becomes a vicious cycle.

about the gifts overwhelming you, i would give the advice to learn to shield. and to make the choice that just the beneficial to you will reach you, and everything else can stay out of your sacred space, home and aura. i recommend putting yourself inside whatever Platonic Solid you feel you like the most, make the intention for all non-beneficial energies to bounce off, then when you do manage to get your energies off-balance, that you take some time to sort your thoughts out again, not just by breathing, but by actually QUESTIONING the stories you have ABOUT the events you see, hear, or feel.

visions of the future are only a possibility, and if you are constantly tuning into negative ones, you might want to ask yourself why. even if that is all you see, is it what you believe will happen? and if it is, why would you choose to believe and give power to that which makes you miserable to believe?

i believe in love and part of that is letting go and trusting that things will be as they should b/c they already are and we are still ok. everything that is going to happen has happened already. time is not linear, everything has already been created. we are eternally safe and it's fun to make and choose different roads for the love of the learning journey. but there is no need to fear. which is what is attracting all the negativity in your life, and then you believe the negative, giving power to it, and then it takes you over.

stop it. and set yourself free. question your deepest beliefs and paradigms, just like you beg everyone to question theirs. be the change you want to see, BECOME it, and it shall be b/c you are. simple.

much love and light. skye.


Oct 22, 2010
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Dear another ' Intensly-Indigo' xxx
by: Hannah Jane

I wrote my piece on here- Titled -Intensely Indigo- before I even read your work- and wow your writing discribes exactly the way It feels to be-'Intensely Indigo!'. Oh how I relate to u and your INTENCE view of the world and your placement within it. Its beautiful for me to have connected with someone like you- it can feel so lonely to be like us, but yet we are nevwe ever alone, if you know what I mean. Your thoughts of Suicide I believe stem from your internal frustrations with "what it is you need to do with all of this information bubbling up inside you". Please dont be affraid to ask yourself and your Intuitions to ease up on you from time to time- as my mother said to me- If spirits and visions are ever scaring or draining you, or bombarding u (like theyre all talking or wanting ur attention all at once!)- thank them for their light and ask them to leave in peace or shine a clear light on the path. Please do not fret or fear- what you have been blessed with is an amazing gift, and I do not doubt for one second that an Indigo as articulate and emotional as yourself has an imperritive place in the circle of all things. It will come to you in its own time, please do not eva give up. You have way too much to withinin you to end something that is so close to truely starting. All my love fellow Indigo... Hannahxxx doozah83@yahoo.com.au (if you eva want or need to release!)

Aug 25, 2010
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Message from Spirit.
by: hybrid1000

I agree with all the other comments here.
I was like you, the dreams, the feelings of hopelessness, the feeling that time was running out, but the Higher Spirits told me that the most important thing we should all be doing is to stay calm and positive in our thoughts.

I was told this in a dream in which i was walking along a moutain plateau high up in the mountains looking down on tall trees, beside me was a Tibetan Monk who told me.

"Your thoughts create your world, if your thoughts are constantly negative your world will be an ugly hateful place to live, but if your thoughts are positive and beautiful so too will your world be beautiful, you are all evolving, do your best to help others you meet along the way to evolve also, but do not worry about those who refuse to awaken as they will awaken once enough of you are awake".

So just try to stay positive, and help when you can and you will help the world to wake up like us.

Aug 23, 2010
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offering a suggestion derived from my self discovery
by: Tay

Try to remind yourself often that everything has its equal opposite (ying and yang if you will) The first we learn of this concept is usually taught as good and bad, but its a very misleading interpretation to learn first as good is "right" and bad is "wrong" so we start negating one side of this right away and neglect an understanding of the "negative" side. - Basically, everyone can usually see the benifits of something good that happens to them but rarely do people comprehend the benefits of something bad that happens to them. So when we experience the negative we most often resist it, fear it, and are unaccepting towards it. *** But a way that most people can understand what im speaking of is with the concept of emotions. Fear and Sadness arent ever very enjoyable but most people understand that the are useful...we fear to keep ourselves safe and we hurt to teach us (ie hand on a hotstove or missing those we love). So, once you begin understanding and accepting the negative and realize not to fight against it but embrace it we learn what we were intended to by experiencing it. Its the core of finding the good in bad and the bad in good. This might assist you in believing in the things you do, who you are, where your going and why everything happens.


Aug 11, 2010
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Have a little faith;)
by: Anonymous

Dont worry, your own lifes path will all make sence soon. Me, im on my own jurney. Trying to Deal with my attitude and how I treat others. Its been one heack of a ride! But I believe first of all in God,the higher power, and that this must be my lifes path to first work on myself, then emerge a beautiful butterfly, ready to take on the world! I now try to focous on the positives in life, beliving that the journey will be shown to me along the way;) "Hope that helps"

Aug 10, 2010
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WOW
by: isnt strange

after all these years to finly find out we are not damaged goods and i had the same problams with teachers.

Aug 06, 2010
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I would like to talk with you.
by: Horus

Every where you look in nature things have a way of fixing themselves. Some times the resulting solution seems literaly imposible. Nevertheless nature "always" finds a way.
As for mankind......... We are that way.
I would love to talk to you.
Please contact me At symphonogasm @ aim.com

When you get angry ....... STOP
Take a deep breath, and calm down.
Those rages .......the whole world feels it.
The others especially.

Aug 06, 2010
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Me 2
by: Anonymous

Hey my name is bella, I read yr post and its exactly like me. The dreams of the future this urge and feeling like u r here on a mission but not sure what. Feeling like everyone is alseep and u r different from everyone else. I am 29 and I "Woke up" in Feb this year. I had this experience of restlessness in my soul and strange odd dreams which had now lead me on a differnt path in life. I would love to hear more about your dreams and experiences please email me if you wish at bella_mia @ live.com.au

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