Understanding Myself As an Indigo

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Understanding Myself As an Indigo

by Danielle Boomer
(Florida)

For the last year, I've been wondering whether or not I'm an Indigo. Whenever I have had the thought, "Yes, I really am Indigo," I then second-guess myself assuming I'm giving myself too much "credit". I've never had any type of divine experience, but I do have an innate sense of "knowing" and "feeling". I'm extremely empathetic, and if I allow someone to vent to me about their low feelings too much, man, do I get bogged down- and fast.

Often I feel alone. I can be in a room full of people and feel how thick the energy is, wondering every person's thoughts and feelings. Wondering; “Doesn’t anyone else feel smothered by the energy in the air right now? No? Oh... I must just be crazy," is often my stream of consciousness in such situations. I feel different and like I just don’t fit anywhere most of the time. I'm outgoing, and happy generally, and know I can draw most in with my stare if I tried, so I'm not a "loner" in the typical sense of the word, but I definitely am a lone wolf.

Once when I was with my friend, Keller, I saw his third eye glowing, a beautiful indigo color. Quickly, however, I lost the vision out of fear. I believe I've seen demon-like figures in the night lurking in my room as well. Also, I've experienced one case of sleep paralysis, which I know some say is supposed to be an indication of higher consciousness.

But really all I can say is that I'm hungry to develop any sort of gifts I might have, such as clairvoyance or clairsentience. I'm most psychic with my friend Keller, the boy who’s third eye I witnessed. Often I ask him, "What did you just say?" Where he'll respond with a look of confusion and I'll tell him what I swear I heard him say; we end up getting all weirded out because it'll be what he was thinking, not speaking.

As for who I have been growing up, I've always been pretty self-assured, ever since a child. I have a natural tendency toward self expression through movement, song, or art. Naked child- as much as I could be- still am. I was always extremely speculative toward people, maybe even suspicious initially- still am. I like to think I know everything about a person in one glance, trying to keep in mind that first impressions aren’t always the truest. The mystical has always left me awestruck. I'm a Scorpio and an ENFP (being almost "I" and almost "T") I'm extremely deep, possibly even dark, but not pessimistic. I'm fascinated by magic or the metaphysics in general. I feel like a freak when I mention my mad obsession with such things to most anyone, except my tarot reader, boyfriend, and Keller.

I've always been fascinated with crystals, and at one point asked for people to call me that as my name. Once I thought my purpose in life was to just brighten up someone’s day with a smile. I want to be a humanitarian sage and transmit energy through my eyes and hands to all willing and receptive. I'm a lover. I'm just not quite sure how to fully tap into what it is that makes me who I am.

Today, while explaining a few of these feelings with my medium, she told me, "Well, you're an Indigo. We never will feel like we 'fit,'" Never before had someone else told me they thought I was Indigo, let alone heard of the term. I want to know all there is to know about everything, and want all of the doors to my mind to be opened. I want to be a catalyst. I want to HEAL! But I still find myself wondering whether or not I'm indigo.

At one point in my life, I was extremely Christian and "in touch with God". Which I now realize, wasn't ever fake, or just in my head. When the wind blew, I felt an embrace. When I danced in my room by myself for God, I felt pure romance. I love trees, I connect deeply with them. As cliché as it sounds, there's no hug like a tree hug. What do all of these things mean? Who am I? At 19 years old, and an only child, I've never felt so much angst in my entire life.

Oh... and one thing that seems to always pop up in my mind is a story my nana seems to always recall about me after I was born. "When I went to look at you in the nursery room with all the sleeping babies," she says, "You were the only baby wide-awake, curiously looking around the whole room."

My family has no history of psychic experiences, only of artists.

This is as much key information I can think of to share with the rest of the Indigo population. Do I relate with you?

Peace, healing, acceptance, and comfort to all,

Danielle

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Understanding Myself As an Indigo

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are you indigo?
by: john

the only person who can truly know if you are an indigo or not is you, though it hardly matters. you can just be an awakened soul, and that means the same thing. you could also be a born psychic which means awakening has never been too far away, you need it to truly understand the input you get. i suggest meditation as a way to resolve your question if it matters to you. otherwise just stay with your path, wherever that takes you and try to leave every place that you go a little better and you will accomplish your mission. light and peace

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danielle, maybe i can help
by: indigoflower-katrina hope

holy crap girl, i found out last fall that i was an indigo, also an enfp, i am also scorpio. i am 39 yrs old and i have been searchinng for the truth for most of my life. everything u described, i have also experienced in my own format. since being told and discovering i was an indigo, and after much research, i have recently been seeing other indigos everywhere i turn. they are being directly dropped into my life, or vice versa. i turn around, and there are another set of indigo eyes. i ask a few questions and they, without knowing, confirm what im seeing. indigos are gathering, being drawn together. im in awe of what im witnessing. i too was second guessing what i had learned about myself and about indigos. every time id see or experience more proof, id find something to be afraid of or to cause doubt about myself. at this point i cant deny what im seeing and experiencing anymore. its in my face constantly now, im seeing magic everywhere i turn. im so so relieved and happy that my family is coming back together. when i am with other indigos, i feel safe, loved, impressed, hopeful, inspired, not alone. my email is flowerchild271@yahoo.com please email me, you are not alone. sending my light and love, katrina

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Wow!!
by: Anonymous

Hello again:-)

I'm so glad my comment helped, life isn't easy for us souls and I really do think we should try and support each other whenever possible. I remember when I had my strange dreams about fighting dark entities that there were many, many souls (in orb form) all together in this golden tunnel. Well Danielle you have shared some interesting things, many of which I can relate to...

First of all, how sorry I am to hear about your friend, there's little I can say (without sounding glib)to comfort you. I know that all that you can do is get through each day with his sickness and not think too far ahead. My father died when I was 25 of lung cancer, it was the most dificult phase of my life and I was so young to lose a parent. I hope your friend's cancer is one that can be treated OK, please tell me more about it if you want to:-) How terrible, I can't imgaine what his parents must feel, I really do feel for you.

From what you said about the tree - yes it does sound like you have that connection to the Deva kingdoms and an extremely sensitive one at that! I too have a great connection to trees especially the Yew tree (tree of death and rebirth)as I said in my previous post, Wicca was my first port of call Esoteric wise, and spoke to me profoundly because of its adherence to a feminine divine force and to nature. Get aquianted with that tree is my advice! They do act as totems as much as animals and I have a feeling that Indigos are more drawn to trees than many other people. If I have any purpose, I feel its introducing psychics/Lightworkers and Indigos to the ancient path of Shamanism! Many of us in past lives were healers and medicine people, and much in these practises balance out the rather 'all light and pink fluffy clouds'(!!lol) take found in a lot of New Age ideas! This ties in with what you say about the black man with silver eyes... I think all potential Shamans are hounded by 'death' (which is what I think this man is - the Angel of death or something on those lines. If he sits and wants to talk - good! he has a gift for you - listen to what he says, death is a gateway we all fear, but without facing that fear we can't truly walk with the Angels. Diserning what is truly 'dark' and what isn't in the spirit world takes time, often figures like this that seem frightening or threatenning are allies in the making. I'm still learning myself, but if you read a good book on Shamanism, I think you'll find all the pieces click into place:-)

I've just joined an Indigo email group as it happens, I'm hoping to find other poor old buggers like myself, marooned here on earth before the rest of us arrived! I'm glad your parents are good to you, something I never experienced, hopefully my kids feel differently, if anything I love them too much!!lol

Liz x

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One more thing!
by: Danielle Boomer

I forgot to add that in my dream not too long ago, I had a dream of a demon. Not one who I battled, but he had silver eyes, and seemed to be a black man (which seems racist, but lets look past such assumptions), but was just a demon in disguise. He scared me so much and just came and sat and talked to me in my boyfriend at our dinner table in this dream. He seemed to know a whole lot more than he was revealing, and seemed very preoccupied. He smelled like death or the dark side, and acted as if he had business to do and like he owned the place. I left unscathed. But i have a feeling that wont be the last time i encounter him.

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continued
by: Danielle Boomer

Also, my biggest most recent discovery has been something I forgot about entirely till this past week. Recently in December, my best friend got diagnosed with cancer. This was an obvious weight. However, after discovering that the song I had been deeply focusing on the week prior to the bad news spoke to me like a message. The song is "Do You Realize??" By the Flaming Lips. The Lyrics are:

"Do You Realize that you have the most beautiful face?
Do You Realize we're floating in space?
Do You Realize that happiness makes you cry?
Do You Realize that everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"

My mind was blown when I realized that I was actually enthralled by these lyrics the week prior. All of them. It didn't hit me until my friend- one i had told in that week prior that i was obsessing over this song- played it for me at his house. I felt like a downer telling him about my revelation. But it was still amazing to me nonetheless.

Earlier in the year though, I'd been having the feeling of impending doom, like something really sad is coming. I didn't want to put any energy toward it, so as to believe that it wont happen or come true, like the secret or the law of attraction, or whatever it is you'd like to call it. But one night the feeling got really bad, it was in late August, and I was crying so hard to my mom. I think it was ignited by fear of having the swine flu or something silly, but i was hypersensitive to these "doom" and "death" feelings. Well... Now I realized why I felt those things. However, my best friend with cancer is doing remarkably well considering, and the best I can do is see him often, send healing energy his way and wait for the outcome after his treatments.

These are just big discoveries that i've had in the last week while ive been trying to be extremely open to the energies and life forces of life. Gifts I accept you. Be revealed.

Thanks again for your input. It helps a lot.

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Thank you!
by: Danielle Boomer

I've never joined a blog or forum, really, so I'm so happy I have a response from you, flower child! I'm so happy. That's really cool that you're into Shamanism and Ecstatic healing. Sounds amazing. Thank you for all of your advice. More than I hoped for. My parents are supportive in knowing i'm a "unique" or "artsy" individual. But they don't really get my depth at all, regardless, they are beautifully nurturing to my spirit.

I've been realizing a few things in this last week after a healing session i had with my psychic reader. I thought I might add some of these realizations.

In the quiet of the night, I've been hearing breathing. Checking to make sure its not the wind or my dad snoring too loud from the other end of the house, multiple times before drawing any conclusions. (Exploring is quite fun for me). I have an affinity with this one tree outside of my window. Did I already mention it? Where i've seen all mystical creatures and friends and Gods appear to me just from tree gazing, I guess its called. But I think i'm either hearing the life force, or some elementals or the tree itself breathing. I wonder if i'm connected to the Devic Kingdom. As far as Doreen Virtue's book describes in her book Earth Angels, I most closely relate to the Fairy incarnated elemental. However, I relate to actually every single earth angel. To add, I've been swearing i've been doing double takes of a picture or drink being tweaked or moved on me. I went to open my bedroom door the other night and I again could've sworn before i touched the handle it opened into my hand. Fairies? And fairies, angels and cats have always been gifts i've received from family members over the years. This past christmas I got a fairy ornament that never made it on my tree in time, and although i kept trying to pack it away with the rest of the christmas stuff it just never got into its box. Now it is hanging on my armoire after I de-cluttered my room after being inspired by a book on feng shui. Interestingly enough, this fairy is staring back at me smiling, and seemingly saying, "don't you see?" In addition ive been seeing little balls of light zoom passed my eyeballs. As well as a dandelion drifting in my window and landing in my incense holder like a little fairy.

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Hi!
by: Liz

Hi Danielle

You're certainly not alone! I think I'm probably one the early 'first wave' Indigos as I was born in the 1960's and I have 2 daughters of my own now(one 21 and the other 14) both seem to be Indigo/Cystal (never sure if I quite like those terms!) When I was your age I felt myself opening up in much the same way, and back then it was VERY unusual to discuss these things and there was not the buzz there is now with all things paranormal. I got into Wicca when I was 19 funnily enough, and from then on into Goddess spirituality and now I am deeply engrossed in Shamanism and ecstatic healing.

If you have supportive parents, all the better - a lot of you young Rainbow warriors have way-shower parents, so that you can achieve more in a shorter time than we did and be nurtured rather than dismissed out of hand. Always be sure to protect yourself though, those 'demons' or shadow entities you've seen, are VERY prolific and predatory right now, as we go through the major shifts towards 2012 and it seems as if a lot of energy has been disrupted and disturbed - don't be scared though:-) You may even have found yourself in 'battle' with these darker elements during sleep as I have many times thoughout my life. Smudging with white sage and rattling around your auric field is also good for keeping you psychically clean (we do tend to pick up any old crap off people, and you can do this for your friend!) Well, that's my advice for what its worth, hope it helps!

If you'd like to join a lovely on line commumity of lightworkers please google 'Equinox for lightworkers' I am a moderator on the site and its a safe and gentle enviroment to discuss anything of this nature.

Good luck, and blessings on your journey x

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Understanding Myself As an Indigo

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Understanding Myself As an Indigo