Understanding Myself As an Indigo
by Danielle Boomer
For the last year, I've been wondering whether or not I'm an Indigo. Whenever I have had the thought, "Yes, I really am Indigo," I then second-guess myself assuming I'm giving myself too much "credit". I've never had any type of divine experience, but I do have an innate sense of "knowing" and "feeling". I'm extremely empathetic, and if I allow someone to vent to me about their low feelings too much, man, do I get bogged down- and fast.
Often I feel alone. I can be in a room full of people and feel how thick the energy is, wondering every person's thoughts and feelings. Wondering; “Doesn’t anyone else feel smothered by the energy in the air right now? No? Oh... I must just be crazy," is often my stream of consciousness in such situations. I feel different and like I just don’t fit anywhere most of the time. I'm outgoing, and happy generally, and know I can draw most in with my stare if I tried, so I'm not a "loner" in the typical sense of the word, but I definitely am a lone wolf.
Once when I was with my friend, Keller, I saw his third eye glowing, a beautiful indigo color. Quickly, however, I lost the vision out of fear. I believe I've seen demon-like figures in the night lurking in my room as well. Also, I've experienced one case of sleep paralysis, which I know some say is supposed to be an indication of higher consciousness.
But really all I can say is that I'm hungry to develop any sort of gifts I might have, such as clairvoyance or clairsentience. I'm most psychic with my friend Keller, the boy who’s third eye I witnessed. Often I ask him, "What did you just say?" Where he'll respond with a look of confusion and I'll tell him what I swear I heard him say; we end up getting all weirded out because it'll be what he was thinking, not speaking.
As for who I have been growing up, I've always been pretty self-assured, ever since a child. I have a natural tendency toward self expression through movement, song, or art. Naked child- as much as I could be- still am. I was always extremely speculative toward people, maybe even suspicious initially- still am. I like to think I know everything about a person in one glance, trying to keep in mind that first impressions aren’t always the truest. The mystical has always left me awestruck. I'm a Scorpio and an ENFP (being almost "I" and almost "T") I'm extremely deep, possibly even dark, but not pessimistic. I'm fascinated by magic or the metaphysics in general. I feel like a freak when I mention my mad obsession with such things to most anyone, except my tarot reader, boyfriend, and Keller.
I've always been fascinated with crystals, and at one point asked for people to call me that as my name. Once I thought my purpose in life was to just brighten up someone’s day with a smile. I want to be a humanitarian sage and transmit energy through my eyes and hands to all willing and receptive. I'm a lover. I'm just not quite sure how to fully tap into what it is that makes me who I am.
Today, while explaining a few of these feelings with my medium, she told me, "Well, you're an Indigo. We never will feel like we 'fit,'" Never before had someone else told me they thought I was Indigo, let alone heard of the term. I want to know all there is to know about everything, and want all of the doors to my mind to be opened. I want to be a catalyst. I want to HEAL! But I still find myself wondering whether or not I'm indigo.
At one point in my life, I was extremely Christian and "in touch with God". Which I now realize, wasn't ever fake, or just in my head. When the wind blew, I felt an embrace. When I danced in my room by myself for God, I felt pure romance. I love trees, I connect deeply with them. As cliché as it sounds, there's no hug like a tree hug. What do all of these things mean? Who am I? At 19 years old, and an only child, I've never felt so much angst in my entire life.
Oh... and one thing that seems to always pop up in my mind is a story my nana seems to always recall about me after I was born. "When I went to look at you in the nursery room with all the sleeping babies," she says, "You were the only baby wide-awake, curiously looking around the whole room."
My family has no history of psychic experiences, only of artists.
This is as much key information I can think of to share with the rest of the Indigo population. Do I relate with you?
Peace, healing, acceptance, and comfort to all,