I didn't think it would be like this when I met my soul mate!

by D.J. Ownbey
(Online with Liveperson)

Working as a love and relationship specialist during the past 20 years, I have found there are a lot of misconceptions about soul mates. The most common is that you meet your soul mate and live happily ever after. These ideas are more inventions of the media and fantasy.

In reality, what I have found over the years is that in the beginning one does have this very strong surge of energy, stronger then ever felt and touches the deepest part of the soul. You can't stop thinking of the person. Suddenly career, finances and all the things that seemed important mean nothing. It isn't that the soul mate is any better in appearance, career or achievement then anyone else you have been with. It is simply an unexplainable magic and magnetism. With soul mates, everything is magnified. When things are good it is like the highest of highs and when they are bad it is like going through the depths of hell.

Our culture promotes a very individualistic idealism, so many (especially those not traditionally in touch with their emotions) feel such deep intensity that they get scared and run the other way.

It's not uncommon to hear from clients who believe they met their soul mate and that everything is wonderful, only for it to suddenly disappear. Texting, e-mailing, calling - all with no response.

I have found that soul mates are for soul growth, and growing is not always pleasant. These connections don't go away - long after the person is gone, the connection remains as strong as it was they first met.


I believe we get these connections so we can grow. We live in a very disposable society - at the first sign of trouble or discomfort, we run. However, we end up cheating ourselves out of a very happy and meaningful love life. Soul mates push us to expand our comfort zones and transcend our ego, and they create a spiritual transformative process within us that reaches all the way to the core of our being, which later benefits us in all areas of life. It is hard (if not impossible) to get the toothpaste back into the tube once we have experienced a connection like this. Once you've had it, it's hard to imagine ever being satisfied with anything else.

Soul mate connections force us to go deep within ourselves and grow. Once we are able to do this, things can get to that very happy, magical time that is related in many books on the subject. One finds they bring a magic to life and finances as well, as money is drawn to us from the heart chakra. To whom much is given, much is required. This is a very wise proverb that holds true with soul mate connections.

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