Adult Indigo Seer
(Myton, UT USA)
Well my story begins with childhood. As most of us! But my story begins with traumatizing experiences almost too personal to share, but I will.
At the age of 5-6 I lived with my mom and her boyfriend Harrel. From the moment I was born, it was just me and my Mom, then this guy moved in. The first time I was left alone with him, he pulled out his privates, and asked me to play with him! Sick huh! Apparently he had more interest in me than my mom!! I remember this voice in my head saying, "this is wrong! Grown-ups should not be touching or exposing themselves to anyone except other adults!!"
I wished and begged mom to get away, but she was afraid of him because he beat her, and every time she did leave him she'd go back. I could not tell mom anything because he threatened both of our lives! This was just the beginning. At the age of seven I had a babysitter, who was about 13 and female, and she did the same kind of things to me. Still I told my mother nothing. I was starting to think it was just me! By then my mother had enough of babysitters, not because of anything I said but because this was a time of transition for my mom, she had to battle with her alcoholism. A new babysitter let me watch a scary movie, and then my mom got fed up!
Let me back up a little. Before the episode with the teen girl, and after we finally left Sicko, I had started to develop emotional problems. We had a chocolate lab dog who we loved very much, please don’t get me wrong! But the emotions were taking over; I wanted to see how much power I had, something dark was forming inside! I let it take me over, just to see. Our dog was on his chain, and I threw the chain over a branch and proceeded to pull him up by his neck! This is nothing to be proud of but I had a new discovered strength, and when I "came back" I let go of the dog and embraced him and promised myself I would never harm another creature for the rest of my life!
Believe me I loved our dog and never meant to harm him I just wanted to see how much strength I had, mind over matter, and even though the dog lived to be an old dog I will always feel guilty!
When I did that it felt like it was not me, it was like something consumed my body and mind. Even at that age I’ve been able to connect with spirits on the other side. That’s when a spirit named Samantha entered my life. Whenever id do something that I wouldn’t normally do, I blamed it on Samantha "she told me to do it" I’d say. Which she did. She told me to do things that I knew nothing of, so I guess I opened up to the darker side.
Now back to the beginning of third grade. I had moved in with my grandma and step-grandpa. But with the emotions of having nobody to talk to left me feeling very alone and aggressive. I was bullied, by boys in the city, and we moved so much that I was always the new kid.
At the beginning of second grade the boys who bullied me, I had finally had enough! So I beat them all up! I barely remember the beating because it’s like the dark side consumes me. People have even said that my eyes almost become dark, even though I have green eyes. So you can see I was not going to be bullied anymore!! So when I moved in with my grandparents, I carried this defence with me.
So now I was living I a small town, and boys picked on me there too, until one certain boy said the wrong thing to me and I turned and beat the crap out of him. Of course we were surrounded by peers and almost everyone became afraid of me, so I was even more alienated!
I continued to live with my grandparents and by the summer of 3rd grade I started to feel more and more content, even though I missed my ma like crazy!
Then my step-grandpas Dad came to visit. I was excited to meet him and ran right over to greet him! He welcomed me with open arms and sat me right on his LAP! You can guess what happened next! I couldn’t believe it! All I could do was watch my grandparents working round the farm and this sickko whispering in my ear "don’t tell or ill kill all of you!" That was it! I thought it had to be me!
Thank God my grandparents were church goers or else I would have never known God, even though he seemed to care nothing for me! I still held onto God though, in hopes my life would get better! Yes I know this does not sound like an indigo story, but I must start from the beginning to help readers understand.
Anyways I had my secrets. And these secrets were feeding the anger and bad feelings inside. By the time my mom moved to town I was in 6th grade, and I just wanted to feel more and more power, the dark side was consuming me. It didn’t help that my mom had a new boyfriend move in with us and I hated him, but
had already decided that if anyone touched me again, I’d kill them first!
So now I’m sixteen and things seemed to be going ok. I had everyone at school afraid of me and I felt powerful! I stared messing around with Ouija Boards, and invited the dark side in again, in return for the power and beauty of a vampire. Believe me or not, it accepted. All I had to do to keep this power was to kill someone and consume their life force. But I still held on to the power of heaven and never really wanted to go through with this. Until my strength and power was tested.
I had a boyfriend who loved me and I was starting to love him back, until I busted him cheating, not in the act, but riding around with her, in his friends truck! I was in a rage, demanded he get out of the truck, and punched him upside the head and said goodbye! He tried and tried to get me back, he was so sorry! I didn’t care! We met up side by side at a red light, me in my car and he in his, then the light turned green and the race was on for my house. We were probably doing around 60 in a 30 zone. We were going around a corner nearing my house when I noticed red and blues. I slowed down but he sped up around me to get away. That just pissed me off more so I concentrated on getting him busted! So many thoughts were flowing through my head and I felt that old bad feeling of hate consume me. To my astonishment, he lost control side-swiped a telephone pole and ended up on the side of the road! I just sat there in disbelief that I had actually may have caused his accident! Even though I did not mean to hurt him. When I came to, I noticed the cops had sped up around me and hurried to his side. I then followed and looked to make sure he was ok and drove on to my house. I didn’t want to get caught with alcohol or reckless driving so I "wished it" and threw the alcohol under the house, and went in the back door.
When the cops arrived they talked with my parents and interviewed me, then told my parents about the accident and how I was lucky that I wasn’t any closer to his car or he could have taken me out as well. Assured my ma that I was clean and no charges were pressed just glad I was ok! He went to jail though, with a DUI.
Then I found out I was pregnant! The night I found out he cheated, I did so as well. So there were two possible fathers, but both denied! So I was perego and alone. At first I didn’t want the baby and prayed to God he be taken out of me, until I found out he was a boy and saw him moving around. Then I decided to change my life for the better! But change does not come easy! The devil still had his grasp on me and a claim on my soul.
Unbeknown to doctors I also developed a blood disorder called antiphosphylipid syndrome AKA, APS (sticky blood). This started causing mimi-strokes which displayed crazy-like behaviours. My mom put me in the sick ward of the hospital. They had no idea what was really going on spiritually or physically! And I was dying! All I could do was speak in toungs all I could do was mumble, and in one of my mumblings I saw my mom turned to her and said these words, "I spoke to God mom and he is going to take me and my baby home" Then I went on rambling on again.
I felt the life of my child literally being pulled form my womb then I followed after him. I went clear up and met two heavenly figures and recognized them as God and Jesus. But as soon as I saw them I noticed them shaking their heads no, then I was sucked back into my lifeless body and knew then I had to make it in life again. But my baby was gone and I still miss him!
Life has gone on but not without hard work and a strong will to live. My disorder has intensified and I’ve had a stroke at 17 another miscarriage at 19 and grand-mall seizures starting at 25. I am 33 now, and am a born-again Christian! I will never use my power for evil and am ever striving for forgiveness and purity! I have two surviving children whom I was able to bring to term with careful Doctor care:) And I love them dearly!! I will always miss my first little angel, because I not only feel guilty for my choices but I carried him for six months; the second I carried for only two and a half months. He saved not only my life but my soul! And now I can concentrate on making good things happen!
My abilities have matured to seeing the future in my dreams, communicating with the good spirits, and the ability to "Know" when something bad is about to happen, even though I don’t always know "what". Although I haven’t figured out how to "win the lottery yet!" Ha ha!.
I feel I will always battle with the dark side. But the good side is the one in control now! I am only human!