Living an Integrated Life as an Indigo Adult
(Providence RI USA)
I have been given a gift of Indigo Music
Well, basically, when I was 14 years old I was in a car crash that I recall vividly with all the shattered glass. As we smashed into the other car, I was knocked out of my body. I did not understand it then, but now know I had an Out-of-Body experience. After everything went black I found my – out of body self - level with the street lamp. I "looked" upwards, and then I was floating towards what I was looking up at: it was a circle of white light of the cosmos. At that moment, I understood the interdependence and unity of all things in the universe. I "felt" nothing negative; no fear, pain, or anger, it was all gone. There was only Great Blissful peace, serenity, and insuppressible joyful feelings from the realization that I too am a vitally important and loved part of the creative circle of life.
Alright, now the "feelings" of sadness, despair, and fear returned when a voice called to me (the voice of the one angel who was guiding me upwards) and I hear in my mind: you must go back; it is not yet your time.
That was when the sad feelings started and after the death of my grandfather in 2000, I was diagnosed with "depression". I was sad to be "trapped" down here. So I waited and tried to learn ways to contact the spirit world for guidance and comfort.
Then I found (after many years of psychic struggle) a "law of attraction" book, I feel I was led to, and it helped me take control of myself and my time here.
I so want to reach out because it spiritually hurts me to see the world the way it is versus the way I've seen it was meant to be. I feel a strong social responsibility to make a lasting contribution to benefit humanity, not just society, but all humankind of every color, shape, race, religion, etc. I want to reveal to them the true Love that is theirs if they will accept it and the divine (psychic?) potential to expand and grow in positive ways for them that they all have.
This "idealism" seems "foolish" and "unproductive" to the world they have created and decided to live in as prisoners of their own minds. The strangest thing is feeling disconnected from other people whom I feel a strong desire to help. I would like to assist them to see how to help themselves. I do share my joy of music with them; this is my medium for connecting or re-connecting with that feeling from so many years ago.
I have been given a gift of music and have been trying to figure out a way to put this to use, but my problem with authority and a feeling that my professors are "crushing the spirit" of music and not letting it serve its divine purpose: to bring humankind together to share in the great joy of creation, is making it hard to earn a degree. Down here, you must "earn" love, respect, trust, etc. Now I have asked and my Guardian Angel has come and stays by my side and comforts my anxious soul (I take refuge with music in two churches and a temple). I am so restless, time, time, time, presses on my heart. I feel it beat in time with the universe and Mother Nature revives me and sustains me.
Oh and I see auras now that I have practiced honing my psychic abilities. It has given me a new appreciation for people's potential. Just the other day I saw beams of white light surrounding the maintenance man at my apartment and I smiled that secret smile. They ask "what are you smiling at?" Nothing I say just glad to "see" you. Does anyone know what I'm seeing? I can feel, sense, do, and predict things, even gotten better at setting up events in mind to make them materialize and oh the joy I experience when they do! Patience really is the key word here though I have learned through experience.
Can anyone else relate? I am really new to what I have been experiencing, but know my life will get better, I am constantly physically sick, especially in routine jobs, and the doctors can't find a physical cause. The drugs they give me make me feel sick too. Mother Nature helps me to heal. I am a healer; my great grandmother was the medicine woman of her tribe. I feel called to heal with my gift of music, but how to be "productive" and survive the soul killing world of employment? All I know is the answers are already there, I need to stay awake in this "reality" and pay attention for them, but that is tough with so many plans for the whole world. I send you all my best!