Passing Time with Allan
Passing Time with Allan
I would like to share my experience of Allan's passing.
(I had been caring and looking out for Allan since the beginning of June when he had suffered a heart aneurysm. We have been good friends for the last ten years.)
Saturday 13th October 2102
During the night I had a dream. I found myself escorting five ‘happy’ children to a Palliative Hospital. I made sure they had their teddy bears and items of comfort. I knew it was their last stop.
I remember standing with them by a pond in the hospital grounds. I particularly noticed the feeling of being here before, this felt like a place I had visited several times before.
Waking up I could not understand why I had just dreamt about these five children. I did wonder about the Palliative signs relating to Allan.
Allan was seriously ill but now back at home. He was at home alone this weekend; I made sure he had everything he needed to get through the two days without me. Monday was a good day, although Allan had experienced some anxiety over the weekend. He had not slept well Sunday night, but he was very glad to see me and pleased to go out and about in the wheelchair. We visited the laundry, the post office, the pharmacist and the Fountain Café. We had some lunch with friends and returned home.
Monday night was difficult for Allan. He had panicked a lot through the night alone. He was fearful that if he went to sleep he would not wake up. During the morning he was visited by two members of his home care team. When I arrived about lunchtime Allan, although calming down with my arrival, was really struggling with his lungs. By about 4pm when I was preparing to leave, it was clear I could not just leave Allan in this condition, I called the Sacred Heart Palliative team and they came to talk with Allan and offered to take him into the hospital for a week or two to help him regain some strength and confidence. We could wait for an ambulance or take a cab as a quicker option.
I remember packing a bag for Allan with the things he may need for another week in hospital. I asked if he wanted his fleecy throw blanket. Of course he did, this blanket had become his ‘safety blankey’ over the last four months in hospital and Allan was going nowhere without it! As I helped Allan into the taxi I thought to myself, “well I've never had kids, but I guess it would be something like this”.
Sacred Heart was wonderful; both as a warm caring space for Allan and as some respite for me. I took the Wednesday off. But in phoning Allan on Wednesday afternoon it was clear he was going downhill fast.
About 2am in the night of Thursday morning I got the call from Sacred Heart that it would be a good idea to come in now if I wanted to be with Allan at his passing. I arrived about 2.45am. The nurses had been taking turns at sitting with Allan and holding his hand because he did not want to be alone. I took over. Although on morphine by now and not really conscious Allan did manage a nod to my question, “Allan this is me, do you know I’m here now?”
At 3:15am I experienced what I call my psychic surge. The only way I can describe it is that it is like being tasered with the warm fuzzies. I closed my eyes and asked who had just entered the room. I sensed a man this side of a Plexiglas glass screen and a whole load of eager people standing and looking in from the other side of the Plexiglas glass screen. I felt this to be Allan’s brother, (who had died quite some years earlier in New Zealand) and behind the screen were all the friends and family already passed. They had come to welcome Allan to the other side. I continued to hold Allan by the hand and talk with him. Recounting all the people we know who love Allan so much. (Lots of us)
At 9:36am (while still holding Allan by the hand) I sent this text to my best friend (famous psychic) Carol in Western Australia: I'm at the transit lounge holding Allan's hand as he decides if he wants to go now or in an hour or two. He loves traveling so not sure why he is holding on. His consciousness seems to have gone but he seems to not want to leave the worn out body. Ian
9:44am Carol’s reply: Invite a few of his ancestors to come and light the way (Carol had no knowledge of Allan’s genealogical passion and years of research into his ancestors in Scotland - the MacChaluim Clan)
I reply with: I'm calling on his MacChaluim clan from Scotland
Just a few souls
Of people he loved
Appearing one by one
With their love lights shining
That will be like a landing strip for him
That way he will safely depart
This will be a fun journey
They will light up the way
At 9:45am I recite Louise Hay’s affirmation, “We are safe – it’s only change”. I suggest to Allan that we call on the MacChaluim Clan to come and lead him home. But while they are at it why not take Allan via Scotland and have a quick tour of the Clan’s Castles and stately homes. “And Allan, make sure you send me a postcard from Scotland to say you got there”. (Allan loves traveling and this was going to be an awesome journey!) At that Allan noticeably started slipping away.
At 9:49am I received a text message from my wife at home. I’m doing a meditation. I'm there with Allan now hun... will hold his hand and walk a bit to help him cross over now. I am holding bliss .... PS what’s with the big CLAN of people here? (She had no idea we had called on the MacChaluim Clan)
Nurse enters the room and at 9:55am called the death of my dear friend Allan.
Afterword: I do hope I don’t offend anyone with my report on Allan’s Passing. I understand this may not sit well with the religious beliefs of some friends. This was simply what happened as it happened. I am a retired professional psychic yet this still amazes me. I left feeling very happy and excited for Allan, and very sad for myself in losing one of my most trusted friends.
PS: Carol called me a short time after to say that her sister, who is on holiday in Europe, had just skyped her to say she had just been to Edinburgh Castle and had followed a prompting to send Carol and myself a postcard of the castle!
PPS: My dream with five children happened five nights before Allan’s passing. And as I left the hospital I decided to walk around the side and look at the grounds. And there was the pond, just as I had seen in the dream.