An Ancestor Remember in Dreamtime
Roots of Connection
It all started with one of my random walk-throughs in my local book store. Whenever I go in I just don't think but see what book I'm drawn to. On this day it happened to be a feather on the book cover. It was a book by Doug Boyd who wrote about his experience with an elder medicine man named Rolling Thunder. Since childhood I have always been interested in Native Americans and reading this book, at that moment in life was extremely helpful, insightful. I felt a strong kinship with learning about Rolling Thunder and familiar if you will, that has no words to describe with his respect for mother earth and the spirit world, I truly felt a connection to this person I never physically met nor new what he looked like.
While reading this book, I was also searching for my biological parents. Being an adoptee, I felt it was time in my evolution to learn about my roots and had just found my biological father. We met and he looked over all the information that was given to me by the social service agency that described some background of both parents. I wanted him to clarify if this was all correct. When he came upon the ethnicity of his origins which read Italian/German, his response was this is not correct. Yes to the Italian background being his father but no German what so ever. He then said my Mother your Grandmother is Cherokee and Dutch.
All the sudden it clicked inside of me and I said internally, OK I'm not crazy anymore... I do have Native American roots. He went on to say my Great Grandfather was full blood Cherokee.
After the visit, It's like I had a meltdown of emotions and couldn't sleep at nights. It was all wonderful the experience but so much to process and integrate within my own mind, body and spirit.
What was interesting is I found myself during my morning walks, is internally talking to Rolling Thunder, did I think he would hear me, was I crazy for thinking the person could actually sense me and help me in processing my thoughts, feelings and emotions of recent events.
Every time I would questions something I would somehow bring my awareness to finding a feather on the ground. To then when I couldn't bare another night of no sleep, a vision appeared or was I just imagining? This repetitive scene each night or every other night would actually help me get to sleep. It was me as a child in a blue dress and being held by an elder man in a rocking chair on a porch in the middle of prairie land. I could feel the rocking and being held by this person and felt so safe and secure. He was familiar yet couldn't recognize or place this person within my circle of family or friends.
Eventually the more I would have phone calls with my biological father and getting to know him and start to feel more a sense of peace within, the more I would have restful sleep and the image faded from reoccurring. Although I would still have from time to time in morning walks internal talking with Rolling Thunder and finding feathers, life went on. But one night in dream time I was walking some where in the mid west down a very narrow dirt path to the edge of a cliff over looking a beautiful canyon and there sat an elder man. I realized it was the same man who rocked me in the chair on the porch. What was so beautiful was that we did not physically speak, but we spoke from our heart center,I can't find the right words to explain,it was knowing and loving.
The essential message for me was to look and enjoy the setting of the sun. So we sat for a while looking at this beautiful yellow/orange sun. He then wanted me to always remember him through the warmth of the sun. I then knew it was time for me to go. I placed my hand on his knee and he placed his hand over mine. I then knew I must get up and go back up the path. I woke with such a sense of love, gratitude and compassion within and for this Elder. That morning I was listening to a Native American radio show and the Radio Host: Raven announced the passing of an Elder Medicine man, Rolling Thunder, I felt so sad yet knew his spirit lives among us all. Two days later my roommate at the time, knocked on my door and handed me a book. She said, I know how you are interested in Rolling Thunder and I found another book that was written about him. She handed me the book and on the cover was his image. I completely got goose bumps all over and tears in my eyes and said, I can't believe it and do, covering my mouth after I spoke those words. What, my roommate said? I then told her this is the same elder who rocked me in the chair on the porch at night when I couldn't sleep and the elder at the cliffs edge in dream time!
I am so grateful to have a full circle of this experience and so blessed to embrace my sense of spiritual connection with Rolling Thunder. I give thanks and gratitude for his guidance at that time in my life. Also,to believe within that truly we all are connected to all living things in the weave of life.
Thank you for letting me share my story!
Love & Light