(Newberg, Oregon, USA)
My Primary Goddess
Coping With Being An Indigo – My Indigo Realizations. My earliest memories are of me feeling I was an old soul and that I had only come into this incarnation for a very specific and important reason. I was wise beyond my years and had psychic abilities. This made many people uncomfortable around me. I grew up not having many friends which really didn’t bother me since I had tons of spirit friends who I communicated with regularly at my grandparents’ house. Of course my grandparents still shock it off as me having an over active imagination. It was hard living in a predominantly Christian town, a small one at that. I always have felt like an outsider, like an alien.
I had a lot of strange experiences growing up but for some reason I don’t experience them so much now. There were many times I'd wake up and fall down on my bed (I'd be floating), or I'd move something telekinetically (make pictures fall, shatter glasses, roll my pencil, etc) I realized early on that I could read into people. I could read their thoughts. I saw their inner motivations, easily knowing if they were lying, or what their fears were etc.
I have always had pagan beliefs even though I knew no pagans personally. I hadn’t heard anything about being Pagan beyond the general slander the church gives. In fact I was raised and baptized Catholic. Yet I always knew I didn’t belong and questioned this faith to the point that I got kicked out of Sunday school. This feeling of separateness and that things weren’t quite the way today's society wants us to believe drove me into a life long search into the unexplained, ghost, angels, religions, mythology, archeology, reincarnation, who I am and why I am here.
My sophomore year of high school became a turning point for me. I was sitting in my world history class watching this old black and white film of pre world-war-two Germany. This moment changed my life forever. I started crying, and making comments like where is this building, that church wasn’t there, oh God look what happened to so-and-so's house. The whole class thought I had lost my mind. But my teacher actually looked into what I had said. While he was doing this, I started having recurring dreams which I quickly realized was a past life. My teacher came back to me a few months later and told me that some of what I said he could find and that there was a slim chance that I could’ve known about it before. He couldn’t explain it but supported my belief.
In my junior year I got into self hypnosis, angels, ghosts, reincarnation, and this is when I got tarot cards; something connected and I knew I was on the right path. When I was nineteen, I decided after watching the craft that I was destined to be a witch. I picked up a couple of DJ Conway books and the rest is history.
I've had a few other experiences since childhood. But most puzzle me or are deeply personal so I don’t wish to share them here. For so long I felt like I had something to prove or that I needed to find a teacher and get initiated. Right now I’m pretty happy doing it alone and take my curiosity where it leads me. It’s been a fun and interesting journey of indigo realizations.
Until recently have I realized that I’m not alone and there are many indigo people like myself out there; which is a comforting thought.