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Feeling alone in NC

by Karen
(Greensboro, NC USA)

DC Peace Rally Jan. 2006

DC Peace Rally Jan. 2006

I'm 54, unemployed for 4+ yrs, never married, no kids, and scared of the uncertain future. I am ADD and the typical adult Indigo as far as the characteristics go. This last year I have been offered two jobs, accepted them and them lost them before I had a chance to start work. Case of the left hand not knowing what the right was doing I guess. Besides that I have had several other interviews that went so well I was sure I had the job yet never heard back from them or had to chase them down to find out someone else was hired by the partner or husband. So it goes.

I am deeply frustrated by my lack of directions and not knowing how to make a difference in the world. I do have some small physical and mental limitations that get in my way. Physical in that I played too hard when I was a kid and now have joint issues that prevent me from standing for long periods of time. Jobs at Target or Costco are not good choices when your legs and feet hurt after a few hours so badly you can hardly stand. I also have a mental gross out point when it comes to those with infirmity. I know this sounds horrible but I can't deal with severely handicapped, elderly sick and people in hospitals hooked up to all sorts of machines. This does not mean I don't love them, I just get sick or go numb. This also limits my employment options. I feel like such an jerk!

I took a hypnosis class a year ago. After practicing self hypnosis for a while, I began to learn how much junk I carry around from my child hood and DNA, and how it has effects my life today. By late winter or early spring, the news was full of tales of woe about the state of the economy, the war, and rising unemployment. My lack of direction left me feeling very stuck. Amongst it all I was experiencing another failing relationship, the best one of my life and that was the least of my problems. Really!

All my friends seem to think I have lots of skills and talents and show me nothing but love but I want answers, a job and to feel like I am contributing. I want to talk about peace, social justice, the future, building community and come up with ways we all can help others. They all seem to be to involved in material things.

Finally I felt compelled to separate myself from my local friends because I was not being feed with meaningful conversations that promote inner growth, peace or social justice. I am not interested in talking about hand bags, shoes, or brand name stuff, like they are, I want to talk about how to clear the past and move on and help others and network for the future.

Currently I am working with two practitioners to help me clear the blocks fro my childhood and beyond. I seem to uncover more and more junk. The jobs in this town that my limited skills qualify for are few and far between. The competition is huge for the jobs that are there. I taken some classes with the idea they would help me with employment and that has proved not to be the case. I am thinking I need to somehow become self employed. The question is, what do I do and how do I do it with zero funds or knowledge?

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Jul 28, 2009
by: Indigo Seer

It seems to me that you all have about the same idea still. Material things. When do we finally forget the simple things and focus on what really matters, family! I propose that we come together as indigos, with the few people who listen, and come up with a solution, like NC and so manny others are telling us. We ARE the new generation, and WILL be the last hope of man kind.

Mar 09, 2009
All the best...
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you... I feel so much the same over employment, it's so hard to find a niche, and feel like you're making a difference. I hope it all works out for you...

Very best wishes and good luck:-)

Sep 12, 2008
by: Karen

Thanks for the comments Chrissy. I will email you.

Sep 11, 2008
by: christina

Dear Karen,
I've been thinking about you since I have
read your entry. I am also the one who wrote the entry last evening to you about my troubles. If you would like to e-mail me to talk, my e-mail address is

Sep 11, 2008
same boat
by: Anonymous

I'm in the same boat right now, but to top it off
the state police doesn't want my kind in the area
where I am living, so they are going around behind me and telling them not to hire me. thank goodness I do have an extra income right now to help me out, but it's rediculous. I am going to be talking to my lawyer from the city very soon if the matter percists.
They are afraid I might figure out something they don't want me to know about, and I say they are cazy, I've lived in this village all my life in peace until a few years ago when I met a neighbor of my mothers that's an investigater and I spooked the hell out of him. I'm living in m grandmother's house and don't want to move out because of the cenamental value it has because they raised me. So I lived here more then I did at my parents house. My father gave me the house we paid all the closing fees, because I took care of him and my mother and the housekeeping for free and gave up a lot of my life for them. so the police force and some lawyer is having someone follow me around saying I stole a house caused a lot of problems at my sons school, and etc. I'm thinking maybe I should sell the house and get on with my life. But the funny part is being here all my life and being friends with everyone and then all of a sudden they feel threatened by me because they think I know everything they have been up to.

chrissy from NY

Sep 10, 2008
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