I might be an Indigo Adult and pretty sure an Empath.
(Bloomington, IN, USA)
Hi, Please call me Moon, as that is what my real name means. All my life I knew I was different. My family was somewhat dysfunctional. Of course, I say that mildly... It was really dysfunctional at times. I have a brother and sister who are 6 and 7 years older than I am. My mother told me that my father was pretty controlling and had issues, to the point of being physically abusive to her. She told me that when she was pregnant with me that he changed. I asked her how, but she couldn't really describe it, except that he was better. I recall when I was 3 years old, my father chasing my mother in a fit of rage across the house. I ran ahead of them.... I'm not sure why, but I ran into their bedroom and sat at the end of their bed. My mother walked quickly in front of me and then my father followed behind her. He had his fist raised, as if he were going to hit her. Something happened.... He froze.... he didn't move... didn't turn his head. I don't recall feeling any fear, just the desire for him to stop, which he did.... right in front me. He stood there like a statue. It seemed like he stood there for a couple of minutes before he told my mother to tell me to stop staring at him. During those two minutes, no one said anything. I remember it very clearly.
I was always with my mother, except for when I went to school after that. My father never raised a hand to her after that.
I've never done anything like that since. I just recall that being the first time anything significant like that ever happening. However, I have been struggling with depression for almost all my adult life. I've noticed that when my mother starts having a panic attack, I begin to feel that same panicky feeling. I can also feel the tension in the air between people, as if you could cut it with a knife, sometimes. Recently, my nephew attempted suicide and called me. I think he was needing to vent and was wanting to get some relief of his anger and grief he felt towards his girlfriend. Unfortunately, I began to feel exactly the way he did. I mean EXACtLY the way he did. I even said similar things about myself as he did about himself. I didn't have those feelings before he called me and vented. I noticed I had to get off the phone with him when I began feeling exactly as he did while he was talking. I don't know what to do. I have pretty much isolated myself because of my depression over the years. It seemed to help somewhat, but I still get around people when I work and have coworkers who talk to me about all their problems and unload on me... I knew the difference between empathy and sympathy. I knew I had empathy, but didn't know that I was an empath or even what it meant to be an empath.
I just now, at the age of 48, am learning about all this. I've always known I was spiritually strong and meant to do something. I really could use some help with how not to let all the sorrow, anger, depression, etc, get to me and affect me negatively. I would also love to be able to help those who feel such negative feelings.
Does anyone have any advice or help to give me?