I'm 44 and Indigo!

by Vivienne
(UK)

I'm certain that many people, like me, have felt out of sync with the world we're in: overly sensitive, probably bullied at school, not doing well at school due to a low boredom threshold and a loathing of authority. This, I suppose could account for many people but many descriptions of Indigos resonate deeply with me, perhaps because of a deep-rooted desire to fit in, at least somewhere? I have the typical Indigo zodiac chart (bucket shaped - all very unbalanced and one-sided)and it does "seem" to make sense that this is a reason for me feeling disparate and apart from the rest.

I grew up in a very violent and unhappy home and found a way out through my imagination - pretending to be in a different place, planet, pretending to be a different me I suppose - one who "fitted in" and wasn't always the loner, the weirdo. As a child I was in constant conflict with the education system in the UK and couldn't wait to get out. I was diagnosed as being bi-polar (manic depressive) five years ago and yet, haven't used medication since that diagnosis. It didn't ring true also I suppose I hate the idea of being labeled as some neurotic fruitcake who needs medication to "keep me sane". I believe I AM sane, too sane perhaps!

I still feel frustrated, often angry and am very impatient with people who show little or no empathy for others and I always seem to be trying to put right what I see as wrong. I now live a life pretty much "out of the system" or as close to that as it's possible to achieve by growing my own veg and fruit and taking care of rescued horses, dogs, cats, chickens, well...anything that's been mistreated by humans really. It feels like the right life for me but I would still like to hear from others with similar experiences. Perhaps my low self-esteem just wants to be part of a group! It's a possibility, yet unlikely. I've never been a @group@ type of person.

I apologize for rambling and thank you anyone who read this and I do hope to make contact with others who feel as I do

Bright blessings

Vivienne