Indigo Adult Issues
by Tanisha Eileen
(Alberta, Canada )
Hello! I am only recently realizing that I’m a part of this group of souls and I feel very blessed now, instead of angry!
I have lived a difficult life due to being misunderstood, and I find it interesting that it is only now that I am being enlightened about this topic matter.
Just amazes me I’ve never touched on the topic before... because if I had I’m sure it would have had a big impact on the way I view life!
Regardless of how difficult things have been, I've always felt as though love and understanding was the ultimate goal for humanity, to accept and love and grow with each other. I've always felt that people are genuinely good, and getting older its gotten a lot easier for me to understand and even verbally justify how cooperation and caring and even our differences could help us so easily become instrumental in each other's growths and getting over our personal issues.
Because of my personal life and personal difficulties, I’ve also had the tendency to get really frustrated with others and often found myself trying to logically justify that other people are terrible, including family members. It’s one thing to want to believe that when you are so angry, but especially as I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to see how their anger has nothing to do with me personally, even if the anger is directed at me.
I'm glad to have found that there is a bigger purpose for me on this earth, and that my frustration with other people and highly sensitive nature is I guess, natural. I feel a lot of love for people, even those I don't know and it hurts to see people suffer. Being able to help people become stronger I feel is a large part of why I’m here, and I'm starting to really realize that now.
It also has made me realize that this may be the reason why I attract people so easily, something that has made me very defensive and isolated because i've never understood it. Often it has felt fake to me as I can easily feel a tendency for others to want to control me, which I still struggle believing if that is just me or if it’s really them.
I have never really felt psychic, though, and again it’s only until recently that I started to see things this way. My sister and her daughter who I’m very close to have dreams that have told the future, like my niece had a dream about a bee on her friends shoulder and she told my sister when she woke her up. Later that day she came home and said that a bee landed on her friends shoulder at school today. My sister doesn't think she remembers dreaming it. My sister gets feelings about things, and they happen. We both have those moments where we think of someone and they call or text.
I've had connections with men that I don't understand where our thoughts are almost connected to each other. I'm starting to think it’s that when I think of them maybe I pop into their head, or theirs mine. It’s not just with one man which confuses me.
I recently found out that one of my uncles I really respect had said that he is psychic, and he didn't say it someone in the family said it jokingly. It may have been apart jokingly, but I got the feeling that it came from some source of truth that they were playing on. Like maybe he had said it before, and they were joking about it.
Also I was at the bar a couple of days ago and had just started reading about indigo people the day before. I was in a very good mood, because discovering this stuff has made me feel strong and more able to face the moment. Anyway I was looking for a cute boy, lol, and there were these guys sitting in a table not far from mine in a very crowded loud bar. I started to focus on him, and attempted to use my thoughts to get him to look at me.
Surprisingly he did, and I could tell that I had caught his attention and I really believe it was because of that focus and intention with the mind. I didn't actually really want to talk to him and stopped focusing on him, but I could tell he had noticed me. I feel as though if I had tried to get him to talk to me, I may have succeeded.
I have never thought about things this way and I wonder where I should start to become more in tune with my soul and more advanced in using these gifts.
I also have a built in lie detector! I didn't totally believe in myself before that Friday actually, and I find it very convincing and not coincidental that events have happened the way they have. When I first started reading about indigos I read that they are natural lie detectors, which is something I feel like I am good at as well. That Friday I had asked this guy I've been getting to know to come out to the bar with me, and he agreed. Shortly after he agreed he text me and said he wouldn't be able to come out because work had called him in. I immediately thought he was lying to me, and wondered why he would feel the need to lie to me and assumed he had another friend he wanted to hang out with. I said ok, text me if you feel like coming later.
I picked up my girlfriend and we picked up alcohol, and she was asking me about him. I told her what he said, and then blatantly stated "but he is lying" which prompted the store clerk man to laugh out loud at me. I wasn't upset, but it was simply a statement of fact to me because I could feel it. I got the impression that maybe the store clerk thought I was just a overreacting jealous female, which bothers me when men assume stupid things like that about me or any female really.
Anyway later that night we had ended up at this bar, on an avenue with multiple bars. It was me and my sister and my friend Kim. While we were in the bar, who walks in, but this guy who told me he had to work, he was with a few of his friends. I had told him we were going to a different avenue, but even still out of all the bars he ended up here? And I have no real attachment to him, we are just friends. I took it as basically proof that I should trust my instincts regardless of what other people feel. I need to trust the way I feel, and also, that I have that sincere ability. I am not particularly happy that he lied to me and I intend on explaining to him that he has no reason to lie, especially about something so silly as that. But I will not hold it against him.
Anyway I'm only 24 at this point in my life, born Nov 17, 1986. I know I still have lots of growing to do, and at this point my focus needs to be more on myself. I wonder if that is the case for other indigos? I have struggled since I was very young with self-injury, something I still struggle with but have much more control over. I am starting to understand better why I have this problem, and an addiction to marijuana and cigarettes. I don't know how to clear myself yet of this negativity, and the deep pain I can sometimes feel. But now that I have discovered a reason why I am the way I am, I think I will have better focus, and I hope to meet other indigos who really understand.