Indigo struggling in a family of Non-Indigos
by Kay B
(Grand Rapids, Michigan)
I was born an Indigo child, and now an Indigo adult. My first out of body experience was around 3 years of age, and I've always been quite sensitive, which is a trait my parents thought of as "weak". Over the years, I too had attracted some very negative people, had low self esteem, but also had an extraordinary amount of creativity and so many ideas running through my head that I've had insomnia most of my life. The insomnia is also partly due to my mother having fits of rage late at night while I was sleeping and she'd break into my bedroom and beat me for no logical reason at all.
I could "sense" if people were bad when I was younger, and I'd try to avoid those people. But my mother thought I was anti-social and forced me to be friendly with someone whom I thought of as bad. It became a game to her, and when I was 17, she 'forced' me to go on a date with a young man of 19, who was living with his girlfriend at the time, and he was quite attractive, quite charming, a friend of my brother's, and if my mother were his age, she would've jumped all over him, despite him already being involved. The whole situation made me uncomfortable, and my instincts were telling me "NO!" But, I didn't dare upset my mother, so I apprehensively went out with this guy, who told my mother he was taking me to the cafe where his girlfriend worked. Again, my instincts were saying "NO!" He never took me to the cafe. He took me to his apartment, just a few doors down from where my brother lived. The young man sat me down in his living room; I was nervous and knew I shouldn't be there. I was starving, my blood sugar was low, and he barely had any food to eat, and made me scrounge around in his kitchen to find food. As soon as I sat back down, he grabbed my arm and dragged me to his bedroom and raped me. I never told anyone. I was alone in my suffering for months. The young man who raped me apparently was found to have done the same thing to many other girls as young as 13. He was in the Air Force and faced prison time. He killed himself about 4 months after he raped me.
When you are a sensitive Indigo, there are many people who will try and take advantage of your empathetic heart. Many times you will go against your intuition for the sake of making others happy. That, I have found out, is a huge mistake, in more ways than what I've mentioned above. My 17 year old daughter is an Indigo, her father seems to be somewhat of an Indigo, though he tries to deny it. And in my father's family, there were quite a few Indigos, but many are dead from suicide and one is still alive and is a hands-on healer, but is considered to be "weird" by everyone but me. Anyone on my father's side of the family who showed any kind of sensitivity or creativity was always ridiculed, criticized, and abused the most.
I have encountered good spirits and a few bad ones, I've had premonitions that have come in many forms, and when I try to sleep at night, despite meditating and feeling relaxed when sitting upright, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I have so many frequencies going on in my head, I cannot sleep. My head is like a satellite dish tuning into 150 channels all at once. No one speaks to me in my head, no one is telling me what to do; it's all other people talking to each other or doing things in another part of the world. And I've been told that my voice is 'calming' to animals. With my Indigo daughter, animals and small children are attracted to her. And she has encountered some of the same negative spirits in the same places that I have.
Are we blessed AND cursed?