Magic Is Just Unproven Science
So that's why my Childhood sucks! :) - I was Born 1975 in a pretty decent family. I got into many troubles as a child. Switched at least 5 Kindergarten and wonder why I don't have the Graduation photos as my sister (The last one I was there for only 1/2 a semester simply because my parents didn't want me to feel left out. If I recalled correctly, Mom practically begged the headmistress to take me in and I was without the cute uniform. I feel left out alright !! :))
Primary School wasn't better. Most of the trouble I got into were being either too "Talkative" or "Unrecognisable hand writings"
High School was awesome since I started to learn ways to make use of school time to do my own things... Escape !!
I was mentioned in our Final yearbook by a Teacher as "The Houdini" Who often his disappearing tricks are more successful than his reappearing tricks...
But those times when I skipped school, I was always alone. I had many friends but none where they go I wanted to be there. So I went on lone trips :))
I do think the reason my school tolerated my stunts was simply because I was the Star Swimmer of my school.
Top swimmer of my state. I'm also known as the Water Baby!
During my finals, I sat only for my 3 languages and passed all three. The rest I have no idea as I was never in class. Flunk !! :)
I have Childhood memories from as far as 3 years old and I can recall many parts of my childhood days. I was an extremely loving kid who is also very, very sensitive. Often I cried before my parents leave house for work.
I had childhood friends who we played but I've never fitted well.
Everyone I met for the 1st time was my "Best Friend" Only to know later that they weren't really my Friends. They were there to take advantages of my love for them but funnily, I sees it all but all forgiven.
At the age of 16 my swimming coach (Bless his kind heart) suggested that I follow his son to Teenage Church.
The Church Pastors later showed that I'm not welcomed there since their Prodigy daughter fell in love with me.
I never knew why everyone, Ex-convicts and Ex-drug addicts were given a chance there but not me...
I did nothing wrong... I wanted to be Good.
I used to feel so alienated that I constantly ask my parents if I was adopted. That my "Real" Parents were aliens. My parents find it odd but kept quiet.
Often I do not know why I got into trouble...
I thought things I did was "Normal" I was called names like "Wild Kid" , "Menace" and more. But deep inside I was never once convinced that I was really that bad. I created a method to convince myself that I was simply special. -Black = Bad -White = Good Between Black and White = Gray.
Hence I'm a Gray Zoner !!!! Yay !!! :D
I was born into a Buddhist family whereby most my peers are either Hindus , Christians, Muslims or Buddhists. (Living in a multi-racial country) I pray to most Gods but also found that the Gods do not favour me. Don’t ask me how I know but I just know. I told myself that The Gods are there to help people who really need them and I was strong enough to cope life by myself. They do love me, that’s why they let me struggle so I would learn... (Self Comforting Kid) After a while, I decided I'm best described as a Free Thinker. But still, when I go into temple. I pray with all my heart. Not for myself, but for my Parents and sister and my dogs. :)
Few years ago in 2004 after a bad breakup of 5 years, I went into Drugs. During my Meth using time, I started to seriously Query Life. I bought many books about Astronomy and Tarots and UFOs and all... My longest period of staying awake was 14 days straight. (Meth Binge) I almost went crazy... But still, I have no answer to who I am.
But many unexplained things happened there. I believe I have managed to somehow open a portal in my mind. I saw many things (I would say I was hallucinating But...)
Sigh... Its such a long story.
Finally, I told myself it’s time to stop all this nonsense. Just as I made the decision, I carried 1 KG of Drugs Into Hong Kong and got arrested there. I served 4.5yrs. (Guess If I can’t reform, God will help me to do it) I can’t say It’s the best 4.5 years of my Life in Prison but definitely one which Changed me for a better.
I read over 300 Books But I still haven’t found God/.
I think I'm only d few who doesn't bitch bout being confined in Prison as I took it as a blessing in disguise. I came out a clean person with now readable handwriting. (Practice on letter writing)
It's been 7 years since my Meth/Ice days. And I'm proud of myself.. Ice may be my Eyes . But I don’t need it any more. Today.. I'm still trying to find out of who I am. With the help of internet and books, I finally stumbled upon this Term Indigo Child/Adult. I scored 90% and above in most online test.
Oh.. did I mention I have been forever trying to link up species like me ?? Everyone I met, I tried to find similarities between them and me. I found many. But sadly, many of them don't recognize me. I'm still d loner. (But I guess they too are feeling like a loner)
Recently, I find the feeling that I am in a hurry to find out who I am. But all answers leads to nowhere. I'm still lost. My ears are constantly buzzing really loud and my body aches. I hope some of you can relate my life and don’t feel I'm crazy or insane. It’s a pain to type so much yet only a tiny bit of my life told. Sigh...
Please feel free to contact me... I'm sincerely seeking help and hoping to help others in return.
"Magic is just unproven Science"
Cookie JC (firstname.lastname@example.org)