I have always in my 53 years felt like a wrong shaped peg. They try to hammer me in the wrong shape. It is also like standing on the outside of a crowd and looking in. Your the OFF one. You see things they don't. I don't understand how they do not see what I see. Why can't they understand? It seems to me so easy.
It is also an inner knowing. Where my knowledge comes from, I cant explain. The information is just there. I just know that I know.
I was in my 40s when I finally found myself. Massage therapy found me. People esp. my family seem to push me downstream when I want to go up. I must spend time near water. I Have to have quiet. I have to hear my voice.
I see colors around others. I know things about them. When I can't help or they do not listen, it hurts in ways beyond description.
Music today hurts me. It is noise. The beat is out of step. It is not in tune to life. It is like a heartbeat that is wrong.
Humor is my saving grace! The Native American Flute, which I play, gives me balance. The world IS NOT how it should be.
How much more can I explain what is so hard to be explained? All I have is trust and faith.
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