Tough Love Advice from your tarot or psychic reader is about revealing a harsh or stern interpretation in a sitting with the courage of being blunt and real with the intent of helping you in the long run.
We've all heard the saying, "When life gives you lemons make lemonade." In my 31 years of life on this planet I've never heard someone say that they hate lemonade or directly challenge this well-meaning yet excellent advice, I find this troubling and strange. I have never liked lemonade, I wouldn't touch the stuff with a ten-foot pole! But hey different strokes for different folks eh? All humor aside, allow me to explain in this article some troubling observations I've noticed that lacks representation or readers in the psychic or divination industry who can confidently or comfortably assist clients who have experienced or currently experience the "dark side" of life. I'm talking about those clients who sustain permanent scars from childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, homelessness, rape, suicidal tendencies, depression and all sorts of nasty stuff that is a part of the human experience yet seems to be swept under the rug or the advice is to "look on the bright side." I personally disagree with those who provide such advice and do not suggest looking at the world through rose colored glasses.
Me? Well I prefer to look at life, reality, as clearly as I can warts and all to provide my clients with advice and help facilitate the healing these people need so that they can help themselves become stronger from their wounds, their trauma and learn to use their pain to their advantage instead of allowing it to destroy them or take their power away. In my opinion a damaged or broken human being does not have to remain damaged or broken, merely reminded of their inner strength and willpower to overcome these experiences and be reborn stronger, wiser and empowered. This article is meant to provide my perspective and advice on reading for clients who have been given too many lemons and made lemonade and find it doesn't suite their palate and they perhaps desire or seek another perspective from a reader who has been through similar circumstances and can provide their experience and share wisdom in hopes that they may find the solutions they need to keep going when the going gets tough!
First, I believe telling a client that everything is going to be ok can be the most unhelpful and discouraging advice even if it comes from a genuinely good place with the desire to help ease their pain. The reason I've come to this conclusion is that in a way that very saying may make a client feel like their experiences or difficulties don't matter or aren't being validated because of the uncomfortable nature and feelings these experiences evoke in both client and reader. Even more so if the reader has never been through similar situations and this can leave both of you at a disadvantage to make the most of a session. This can be tricky because sometimes readings with clients of this nature can lead to them emotionally dumping on you, draining you of your precious energy and leave you feeling worse than them when the session has ended. I believe the best tough love advice as a reader is to set yourself some serious boundaries both physically and energetically before a "heavy" session to avoid energy drain and allowing the client to be aware that you are here to help but you are not their friend nor are you a licensed psychotherapist. Unless of course you are but that is a whole other ball of wax! Boundaries that may help readers that I've used with success are straightforward. Firstly, and secondly, do not hold your client’s hands, give them hugs before, after or during the session! Keep it strictly professional and allow no physical contact whatsoever. Do not allow them to provide you with tons of excruciating details of their problems, especially if they start asking for advice on how to deal with their personal drama or make it appear that they want you to take their side on any issue they come for advice on. You are merely there to act as a mirror for them, to help them look at themselves and see the parts they play and where their strengths and weaknesses lie as well as solutions available for them to help improve their situation. Don't be afraid to be blunt, don't be afraid to remind the client to take personal responsibility for their choices and reveal to them the harsh truth that they may not want to hear but need to hear for the real healing to begin and solutions to be provided. Sure, they may get upset, they may even react violently or unfairly towards you but that's when you know you've hit a hot button issue that the client either refuses to see or doesn't wish to acknowledge. This can lead to them repeating the same patterns and getting into the same situations over and over just with different faces and places involved if you choose to dig deep or sugar coat the information. If they want sugar they can go to the local bakery! Harsh I know, but you wouldn't believe how many times I've had clients come back to me weeks or months down the road and thank me for providing this harsher approach and how it's helped them to realize the mistakes they were making and how they've begun to heal and genuinely improve their lives. This is the most rewarding feeling I've ever felt and honestly when this occurs no amount of money can replace the genuine feeling I get when I know I've helped someone instead of being too soft and likely have them just jumping from reader to reader just to hear what they want to hear but never really changing. Sure, this may or may not result in losing regular or new clients due to this approach but when you get real feedback that shows that you're genuinely helping people with your unique skills then honestly it may be time to look at the impact you're really having on your clients and whether you're just cushioning the blow but not really achieving your potential as a reader, adviser or healer. There's a saying that you can't be an effective healer if you yourself have never had wounds to heal of your own. A band aid solution isn't a solution in my opinion so sometimes you must prepare your clients to dig deep if they really want to help themselves. Of course, you're free to agree or disagree as you desire, this is just my tough love advice for those that want it.
Now regarding the client. Remember that when you come to your reader in search of answers or assistance in finding clarity and healing be sure to keep in mind that finding a compatible reader is key! I recommend someone who isn't afraid to ask the hard questions and help you find answers. Who isn't afraid to face the dark side of human experience and serve as a mirror for you but also provide tough love advice, guidance and healing in a way that isn't rooted in arrogance, white light, codependency on sources of power outside of yourself, or personal judgement on your choices and experiences. The reader should, in my opinion come from a genuine desire to help and be completely nonjudgmental and non-biased as possible. Easier said than done folks! Also, the client should keep in mind that not all readers can provide this service, nor should they feel obligated to assist you if it is beyond their experience or level of comfort. If the session is going to go deep and heavy, then all precautions should be taken to ensure the most comfortable session possible. Be alerted for red flags if you sense the reader is willing to take your money and you feel like they aren't prepared for what you are about to lay down. You will likely come away from a reading feeling worse than before you came in or wasting your time and money with little to show for it. Also, do not expect a reader to act as a friend or close companion and try not to emotionally dump on your reader, our profession can be very stressful and draining if they provide this service on a regular basis. Most of these issues can be avoided all together by taking the time to pick a compatible reader from the start, you may even have two or three readers you cycle through because they provided perspectives and skills that the others don't offer regarding certain types of sessions. There's no need to feel guilty about having more than one reader if you find that this approach works for you. And lastly, make sure you write down or record your sessions and have all your questions prepared well beforehand! This not only helps provide you with clarity on what you desire to cover during a session but keeps the session focused and within the time frame you both agree upon. You can always come back another time to address your "bucket list". Rome wasn't built in a day and one session may not be enough to cover everything you desire to ask or seek advice on. It might be best to wait a week or two in between heavy sessions with your reader to allow them to recharge and allow you to review the advice and guidance provided in your session to allow maximum information retention. I've noticed if you wait longer periods of time between sessions it helps to retain all the information covered and to allow information provided by your reader to make sense, especially if some of the topics and information covered don't apply or make sense right away. Sometimes the answers and solutions need to be revealed over long periods of contemplation, thought and actions taken by you (the client). Like an onion there may be many layers to the answers and solutions you get from your reader so try not to rush the process, if you do then it's literally the equivalent of planting a seed in a garden and then digging up that seed every few days to see if it is growing. Good things come to those who wait, are patient but also take the advice given and TAKE ACTION AND MAKE CHANGES! It's not your readers responsibility to tell you what to do, only you can do that my friends.
With all that said I hope this article about tough love advice can provide both readers and clients with some helpful advice on the heavy issues and crap that life can throw our way or that we put ourselves in by our own doing. So, when life gives you lemons make lemonade. Or have a libation of your choice and remember that you can overcome the challenges you face, and you can heal your wounds but it's all up to you! Tap into that inner strength and take back your power, there's no better way!